Choices

One of my goals in life is to be a good person. In fact, above all my other endeavors, this is the one I think about most often. I want to be a good person more than anything in the world.

I don't always succeed at being good, but I like to think I try pretty darn hard.

I'm a loving daughter. I respect my parents and visit them at their home in the Sunshine State as often as I can (especially when one of them is recovering from a nasty accident - love ya dad!).

I say 'please' and 'thank you.' Even to strangers. And my husband.

I work hard. I hold myself accountable at my everyday job so other people don't have to.

I call my out-of-town besties often and I plan regular get-together's with my local gal pals, too.

But sometimes (more than I'd like to admit) I fail miserably at achieving 'goodness.'

I swear. A lot.

I'm quicker to speak than I am to think. 

I don't answer emails in a timely manner.

I get frustrated by slow talkers and interrupt them.

I belch. Out loud. Sometimes I do this in public.

I speed. And if you drive slow in the left lane on the interstate and I have to pass you on the right, chances are I will salute you. Not in a nice way, either.

I (usually) think I'm right. And presume others (yes, you) are wrong.

The world I live in is black and white. Filled with what's right and what's wrong. Lawful and unlawful. I believe that everyone makes choices. You choose to be good or you choose to be evil.

Perhaps, this view, too, makes me not as good as I'd like to be.

I often find myself wondering if I'm truly good. Am I doing enough to be the person I want to be?

Most pressing on my mind as the 'Baby Jones' continues to rule my life, is what will my future children think of me? Will they notice the things I take pride in? Will they recognize my faults? Will they think I'm good?

Maybe they won't notice my pluses and minuses straight away, but at some point they will be all too aware of them. I believe that when you have nuggets, you are not only accountable for your behavior, but also (to a certain point) theirs.

You help them understand right and wrong. Lawfulness versus lawlessness. Good from evil.

I just want to be good. And I want them to be good, too.

No pressure, right?

Blog Karaoke

Hey ya'll... it's time for blog karaoke - where you get to pick the posts!

I'm getting a bit bored with all my whiny 'baby jones' posts so I thought I'd turn the tables and ask my fabulous readers out there:

"What would you like me to write about, research, review or comment on?"

Anything you want to know about me? It can be anything - you know I'm an open book!

Are there any questions you want answered about baby products or pregnancy issues? I'm happy to do the research for you!

Trends going on in the Mommyhood that you would like addressed? Let me be your voice!

Shoot me your ideas, comments, tips and questions and I'll get right on it. This is one of my goals for the upcoming year: try to be a little less narcissistic by writing posts all about me, and instead, try to be of more service to all of you!

I can't wait to hear what you have to say!!!! 

Welcome to the Hood

Happy Holidays everyone!

This is just a quick note to share another article with you. I wrote this piece for The Village Family Magazine. I started researching it around the time when my Baby Jones was hitting insufferably hard and, boy, did I learn a lot!

Did you know that women should take care of any dental work they need before they get pregnant?

Did you know that one round of in vitro fertilization can cost $15,000 (rates may vary depending on location and medical situation)?

Did you know that new parents may grieve the loss of intimacy and/or friendships once their nugget arrives?

If you're already a mum or dad, you may already know these things. But for the rest of you, happy reading! I hope you can take away a few tips.

I would also like to personally acknowledge and thank the people who appear as sources in this article. Without their support and perspective, I would not be able to do what I do.

Susan Grundysen, director of The Village Family Service Center Adoption Option program in Fargo (ND)
Rev. Aaron Roberts, pastor of Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ in Fargo
Lily Crew (not her real name)
Duane Emmel, certified financial counselor at The Village Family Service Center in Fargo
Bonnie Stafford, a Moorhead (MN) mother
Dr. Denise Rondeau, an OB/GYN with Meritcare in Fargo

To read the full article on the World Wide Web Highway, click here.

Christmas Comes Early Surprise! BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Griffin

What a crazy couple of weeks it has been! Apologies to all the Tales readers out there who have been waiting to meet last week's Baby Braggin' Wednesday nugget. And a huge I'M SORRY to his mummy, too!

My schedule has gotten out of whack lately... is it the holidays? Work commitments? Volunteer efforts? Travel arrangements? Baby shower planning? Christmas shopping? This whole baby-making thing? Well, I can tell you one thing - whatever it is, it is keeping me busy.  TOO BUSY! Good thing I've got a vacation coming up! Whew!!

Anyway, I'm really sorry that I missed a BBW post - especially because I've got such a great little nugget to share with you. He is the adorable son of one of my besties from high school, Olivia. So without further ado, hhhheeeerrrreee'sss:

GRIFFIN

Griffin is a 16-month-old (going on 6!) cutie-patootie born July 31, 2008. He lives in Portola Valley, CA so that means he gets to play in the sand with the Golden Gate Bridge as his backdrop. What a lucky kiddo! Isn't that the most gorgeous pic you've seen in a while??!!

His mum and dad have lots of nicknames for their little guy: Griff, G-Dawg, G-Diggity, G-Man, G, Griffy. Olivia says Griffin LOVES to eat - I think the tasty turkey and juicy watermelon in his mouth is proof positive! When he's not chilling at the dinner table, Griffin loves to swim and take a bath. So much so that his mum finds him in the tub if she doesn't close the door to the bathroom - even when there is no water it it!

 

Griffin's new favorite thing is working on his walking and running. And he's got a thing for older kids, especially older boys. He isn't afraid to walk right up to them and try to play with them. He loves his music class and listening to tunes on his Lightning McQueen cd player!

One of the coolest things about Griffin is that he's becoming bi-lingual (at such a young age - that's fabulous)! His nanny is from Peru and speaks pretty much only in Spanish to him, so he has learned to give "besitos", not "kisses" - Olivia thinks that is really sweet (mí también)!  Olivia says, "Sometimes I think he understands more Spanish than English - which has helped my Spanish, too!"

And here is the cutest picture yet of Griffy and his mummy:

If I didn't have the 'Baby Jones' before seeing this, I sure do now!! Thanks for sharing your little guy with Tales of an (Almost) Mommy, Olivia. You've certainly got a precious one on your hands!

For all of you other Tales readers out there, don't forget to send me your nuggets so they, too, can be featured on Baby Braggin' Wednesday. Simply send a few pics, a cute story or some general info about your kiddos to patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com and I'll take care of the rest! It's a great way to share your munchkin with the world - I mean, who doesn't want a little brag time for their babe?  Besides, this way I do the braggin' for you!

The Rebel In Me

A few weeks ago, I did something I shouldn't have. Since that day, I've been spiraling downward into the bizarre baby-making world.

One morning, I started searching the World Wide Web Highway for other people like me: Baby-Jonesing gals who think it's (maybe?) time to start a family. What I found scared the crap out of me.

Cyberspace is FILLED with any-something women trying to have kids. And it seems none of them, like me, are having any luck.

Discovering that hundreds, if not thousands, of women are in the same baby-limbo as I am should bring me comfort. 'Now I have people to talk with who won't think I'm: A) off my rocker, B) annoying as a wax job starting to grow back, C) a whiny attention whore,' I remember thinking excitedly that fateful morning.

But frankly, finding all my new 'friends' on the Internet(s) sucks; it’s more depressing than I'd like to admit. There are just so darn many of them. It makes me feel hopeless.

Worse than that, not only are all of these women NOT pregnant, they're freaks!

They speak in alien tongue. Think I'm joking? See if you can decipher this sentence:

“i hope i get my BFP tomorrow but it is still early. i am 9 DPO today so tomorrow will be 10 DPO but i should get my AF by saturday or sunday so i am hoping it doesnt come!!! i hope all you ladies have GL with the BFP's this month.”

WTF???

Where’s the good old-fashioned, full-word girl talk? The Babymoon talk? The FutureNugget Name talk? To me… everything in that sentence is so… clinical. I can’t relate. Even though there is joy in it (she’s talking about hoping to get a positive pregnancy test reading before her period is due because she ovulated several days ago. Yeah, I’ll admit it, I’ve figured out the lingo.) the acronyms sound like a bad episode of Military Medical Mysteries. There’s a reason that show never got picked up.

My intention is not to anger, insult, or aggravate any of the women who frequent these sites or parlez in this foreign language. In fact, I think it’s quite brave that they are so open about their journey into Mommyhood. And, I find it comforting to know that women who’ve only ‘met’ virtually turn to each other for support.

My beef is that I don’t want to become one of them. Perhaps this is the rebel in me, but I don’t want to be consumed by trying to create a nugget. I don’t want to have to count my DPO (days past ovulation). Or take my BBT (basal body temperature). Or measure for EWCM (egg white cervical mucus indicating your most fertile time).

Honestly, I don’t want to work at it. I just want it to happen. I just want to enjoy this time in my life where me and SuperFutureDad dream about our nugget. Where we wish for what could be.

Perhaps this is faulty logic and I’ll never get that little baby I’ve been hoping for.

But if that happens, I can always turn to the nearest TTC group, right? And I can tell all the ladies there about the next time I POAS.

One Amazing Mother

Greetings ya'll!!!

How are the Baby Jones and/or The Mommyhood treating ya??

I'm still hanging in there. This trying-to-become a parent thing is A LOT harder than I expected. Look for an upcoming post on this topic. I'm sure there's some of you out there who may agree with me!

Meantime, I want to share something with you. As you might know, my alter ego is a full-time television news reporter. I absolutely love my job! And just over a year ago, I decided to try to expand my reporting portfolio by breaking into freelance writing for magazines. Much to my delight (and a lot of hard work), I've had tremendous success!

At this point, I would like to personally thank the local publications who have hired me:

Lake and Home Magazine

On The Minds of Moms Magazine

The Village Family Magazine

As a special treat for all my dear readers on this blog, the wonderful folks at On The Minds of Moms Magazine (OTMOM for short), are encouraging me to post my latest cover story for them on Tales. Get ready to be inspired by this amazing mother!

And, if you're interested in learning more about her... click here!

Finally, I have special Facebook and Twitter accounts set up to share and promote my freelance career. Please pass the word!

Friend me on FB @ Patricia Carlson and follow me on Twitter @ pattycfreelance. I look forward to networking with you!

The Best Of....

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So I Think I Want to be a Mommy?

Do you find yourself:

Making googly faces at any baby within your 50-foot proximity?

Rationalizing that your recent weight gain is undoubtedly because you’re pregnant (even though that little pill case in your purse says otherwise)?

Thinking every baby is ridiculously cute although deep down you KNOW that he/she won’t be winning any baby beauty contests?

Convincing yourself that dumpy diapers don’t sound that putrid after all?

If so, you may be suffering from the ‘Baby Jones’.

The ‘Baby Jones’ is the uncontrollable urge to want to have a baby. In my (limited) experience, the ‘jones’ creeps in slowly. In your younger years, it was easy to keep at bay. You had sports to play. Places to visit. New people to meet. Adventures to have. Education to finish. For some, a partner to meet. But then, when most of those things have been checked off your bucket list, you feel it again. That nagging sensation that there is something (more?) you want in your life.

When fully manifested, the ‘jones’ may make you feel as though you’ve been brainwashed. Baby vomit is now thought of as spit-up (has a much less negative tone, no?). The sound of a baby crying activates your Mommy Sonar and you can find the needy child through rain, snow, sleet or hail. You nod empathetically when your mommy friends tell you about cracked nipples/sleepless nights/teething tears/leaky breasts/green poop/and… gulp… hemorrhoids. You even look longingly at mothers whose children are throwing violent, full-body temper tantrums in the grocery store checkout, wishing you could be the one to cradle them in your arms afterward.

And when you find yourself making goober faces at someone else’s kids in the local Target… it hits you. You want a baby. You have a full-blown, irrepressible case of the ‘Baby Jones.’ And the only thing that will treat it is 9 months of the happiest and scariest time in your life.

So what do you do?

I. Have. No. Idea.

It's Just Me and SuperFutureDad... For Now

I am having the “baby jones’.” Much like an addict, it’s this uncontrollable urge to want to have a baby. In college, the ‘baby jones’ crept in like clockwork twice a year. It was easy to push aside. “I'm too young/selfish/adventurous/immature/single”', I'd tell myself.

Now, I’m jonesing for a baby fix constantly; it shows no signs of slowing. Many of my previous issues are resolved. I have no more valid excuses. It’s time.

At least, I think it is. I am 30-years-old and newly married. My husband (whom we’ll call SuperFutureDad) is definitely the man I’m meant to have children with. Shit, we’re halfway there with a brood of animals. Our house is known as ‘Jungle Larry’s’ (and will affectionately be referred to as such in this blog).

I knew I wanted to create little nuggets with SuperFutureDad after about 6 months of dating. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to marry him. But do age, a ring, and the persistent ‘joneses’ mean I’m really ready to become a parent? Do we? Or don’t we? And if we do, when? And if we pick when, then what??!! It’s enough to drive a gal mad!

This blog will chronicle my search to find out the answers to those questions. And you’ll be along for the hilarious, cheeky, outrageous, endearing, genuine, emotional, uncertain, and most of all, real, ride.

Tales of an (Almost) Mommy is written as much for me as (I hope) it is for you. I’m sure there are plenty of other women (and men) out there who are going through what the hubs and I are living everyday. And, if you’ve already been through it, I’ll bet Jungle Larry’s you’ll get some (perverse?) pleasure out of watching us navigate the Sea of Conception.

I hope you’re interested and inspired enough to interact. Comment. Share. Email (patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com). Facebook (Patricia Carlson). Twitter (@pattycfreelance).

I can’t wait to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by.