Tales of an (Almost) Mommy

Come on, Give 'em a try! You know you want to....

2011-04-15T12:50:00.000-05:00

I made a decision before I had pumpkin pie (who is now 20 weeks old!!!) that we would give cloth diapering a serious shot. I bought a bunch of different kinds of clothies, as I like to call them, and have used them on and off since CC was born in late November.

I have been pleasantly surprised by several brands:

Bum Genius and FuzziBunz and GroVia are my favorites so far.

But now I'm looking to sell the other brands that don't fit CC. This is not to say that they won't fit your child... they just didn't work as well for her as the other brands listed above.

Click here to see my ad on Craigslist.

I also have these other diapers that I'm willing to sell, too.

Oh, and when we're not using clothies, we use Seventh Generation diapers. I think they are THE BEST disposable diapers on the market and I'm not afraid to try to convert you into using them. They keep CC dry all night - not a leak. Not ever.

Soapbox off.

Just a tank of gas away is Bangor, the center of its region of Maine - The Boston Globe

2011-03-02T11:17:00.000-06:00

My hometown gettin' some love! Check it out! Such a proud Mainer!

Just a tank of gas away is Bangor, the center of its region of Maine - The Boston Globe

The Writing on the Wall

2011-02-27T14:39:00.000-06:00

I haven't put a post on here in a long time updating you on my writing career... so I'd like to take a moment to do so. Here are some links to articles I wrote in 2010 and early 2011... I'm hoping for a bigger and better year so if you are an editor and like what you see or if you are a follower and have any connections to publications in your area... please pass along the information. I'd love to write some articles in your area!!!

On The Minds of Moms Magazine: August/September 2010

"Angela Kolling has a tattoo. The red and white bracelet wraps around her left ankle and has the name ‘Morgan’ surrounded by hearts printed on each side. This tattoo has meaning. It’s not something Angela got on a whim; she didn’t pick

it out from a sample book. Unlike a tattoo inked out of rebellion or a misbegotten night, Angela’s tattoo is a symbol of unwavering love and devotion. The bracelet is a permanent reminder that someone is missing from Angela’s life—her daughter..."

The Village Family Magazine: Mom's View Column: February/March 2011

It’s not that I set out to be (or for that matter, wish to be) one of those pushy parents who posts on Facebook every milestone their child achieves. We get it, we get it––your kid rolled over/ took a step/lost a tooth/rode the bus to school. Clearly, he’s a genius and will surely be President of the United States. But try as I might, I also can’t help but wonder about my tiny daughter’s potential greatness every time she does something remarkable (three poops in a day!).

Gulf Coast Parents and Kids Magazine: August/September 2010
Getting your children back in school may offer some welcome relief to you. But sending your kids to classes once again may bring a whole new set of challenges to your family. From homework to bullying, and sleeping to sports, a fresh school year can mean fresh problems. But there are things you can do to make this school year your child’s best yet – so read on!

On The Minds of Moms Magazine: October/November 2010

Isn’t there something you would like to change? Something in our world, country or community? Sure! We all do, right? The difference is many of us don’t do anything about it except talk or complain. Or we may feel like one person can’t
really make a difference. But there are people like Kris Wallman. People who, when they see a way to improve something they care about, do something; something for themselves, their children, their community. That’s Kris. When she sees something that needs changing, whether it is personal or professional, she doesn’t look for someone else to do it...she does the research, looks in the mirror, takes a deep breath and charges ahead.

Gulf Coast Parents and Kids Magazine: November 2010
Are the holidays a perfect excuse to make like a turkey and gobble everything in sight? Put the drumstick down and check out these tips for a tasty, yet trim, holiday season.

Anne Geddes Better Watch Her Back!!!

2011-02-24T21:08:00.001-06:00

And now for more pictures.

These amazing photos of Coralynn (and us) were taken by Ria Czichotzki when CC was just a couple of weeks old.

I think this is the only shot we got of her with her eyes open. CC was a sleepy little pumpkin that day.

Watching Ria position CC and get her to conform to certain poses was really neat. I have since used some of Ria's techniques to sooth CC to sleep if she's fighting it a bit.

I brought some outfits and headbands but Ria had the best selection and already had most of the photos mapped out in her head. This fuzzy one is so precious.

The happy family.

And yes, momma stripped down for a little maternity session too at 37 weeks! I figured my pregnancy body probably wasn't going to look this good the second time around (if there is one!). As a matter of fact, things did take a turn for the worse the last two weeks I was pregnant. The Goodyear Blimp decided to take up residence in my belly and left me with the stretchmarks to prove it! Stretchmarks in the last two weeks of pregnancy - what a bitch.

I highly recommend working with Ria for your family's next picture experience. She's a true pro, loves children and knows how to take a damn good picture.

Me and CC

2011-02-22T17:49:00.000-06:00

3 months.

Already.

My daughter is 3 months old. Where has the time gone?

Actually, when I think about it, I know very well where the time has gone. I can remember weeks, days, moments in Coralynn's short life. She has quite a few milestones already:

getting newborn photos taken
visiting with Santa
smiling
shots at the doctor's office
loving her nightly tubby time
copious amounts of zoey kisses and kitty rubs
blowing out her diaper at the cop shop (we had to hold her up in the locker room shower to clean her off)
discovering her hands and shoving them into her mouth non-stop
two trips to Florida - flying!!! - to see Nai Nai and Ricky
seeing monkeys and tigers and giraffes and other exotics for the first time
putting her toes in the ocean
falling in love with 'blanky bear'
sleeping poolside
staying in a hotel

These are awesome memories for me to keep... and to tell her about in the future. I just thought I'd share...

Help a Friend in Need?

2010-10-06T13:49:00.000-05:00

Hello all!!!

I'd like to share something with you that affects one of my dear friends...
Please consider donating, attending the benefit, or simply spreading the word so that my pal can get the assistance she needs. Many thanks!!!!

Kris Noonan, born on March 1st, 1976 a lifelong community member of the Fargo-Moorhead area (1994 graduate of Moorhead High School) has fully recovered from a near tragic accidental brain injury that happened in Las Vegas, Nevada on September 13, 2009.

Kris is very lucky to have survived a fall that resulted in an intracranial hemorrhage and required her to have an emergency craniotomy nearly one year ago. The accident required ...her to endure a surgery in which the outcome was unknown for family and friends. Her recovery period in the hospital’s Intensive Care Unit was painful and extensive. Unfortunately, with a head injury like this, the recovery does not end once you are released from the hospital. In rehabilitation Kris endured many CT scans, MRI’s, and countless appointments since the day of her accident to ensure that she was on the right road to recovery. This last July she was blessed to find out that she is able to lead a normal full life again. She is able to chase her beloved daughter Lucy around the park again, work full time at her store Pout Baby Boutique, and not become anxious with each headache.

Kris is so grateful for her recovery and truly feels that she has been given a second chance. Unfortunately with that second chance she has been affected with thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical bills. Now it is our time as friends and family to show her that the support does not end now that she has physically recovered. It is time to celebrate what a great daughter, mother, sister, and friend she has been to all if us.

So we would like to share our love for Kris with you and invite you to the “2nd Chance Party for Kris”. The event will consist of hors d’oervres, cash bar, and silent auction with all proceeds going to the Kris Noonan benefit fund.

When: Friday, October 8, 2010

Where: Doublewood Inn in Fargo : 7pm-11pm

Tickets: $25.00 per person

To make an online, tax-deductible donation, go to: www.dakmed.org/lendahand

‘Learn More/Make A Donation’, ‘Individual/Family Funds’, select Kris Noonan Benefit Fund.

DMF Lend a Hand is providing up to $5000 in matching funds.

It's Showtime!

2010-09-24T21:02:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

I've got some great news! Butterball and I are soon going to be blowing up the airwaves to help promote our role on My First Baby.com.

We've landed one radio spot for sure, and it looks like another station is reaching out to us as well! Yay!!!
Although I have to admit, it feels a little weird for me to be referring to 'us.' That's another multi-person pronoun I'll have to get used to (just like when SFD and I became a 'we').

I'll keep you posted on stations and times as we secure our spots - thanks in advance for tuning in and supporting us!!

Also - I got an awesome shout-out from My First Baby.com's host, Jill Cordes, on her blog. You can read it here! Thank you, Jill, for helping a future mummy out!!

As for my pregnancy, here's my current stats:

I'm 30 weeks preggo which puts me at 7 1/2 months. I'm still feeling really good for the most part (yes, I realize how lucky I am), although I've noticed a few odd things cropping up in these later months.

One) I feel uncomfortable after I eat. Like there isn't enough room for the food so it camps out in my esophagus and makes my chest all tight. Ugh.

Two) My fatigue has returned. I'm lucky to still be awake at 9 pm to write this!!

Three) WARNING - Total TMI here: I'm a pooping machine. I understand some women suffer from constipation and the Big H's during their pregnancy. I am the total opposite. If human waste was good for manure, I could be running a friggin' organic farm by now. Seriously. Buy stock in Cottonell.

Four) SFD and I attended a 'labor experience' class earlier this week. While I feel much more prepared for what I'll experience prior to delivery (called the stages of labor), I've decided there is no way this baby is coming out.

It's raining baby stuff!

2010-09-19T09:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, not really (referring to the title) but today is the day of our baby shower!!! Yay - we're so flippin' excited!

We're having a Jack 'n Jill shower so SuperFutureDad gets to share in all the glory he created!! We rented out a couple of room as the Fargo Billiards and Gastropub so boys get one side, girls get the other, but it's all one open space so we can still interact with each other.

Punch, chips and salsa and bean dip, salad, pizza and cupcakes are on the menu - nothing extravagant but enough to keep everyone happy through the Vikings football game that will be on all the big screen tv's!!!

Yeah, this is really more of an excuse to get a big bunch of people together and party! And we can say we did it all for the Butterball!

My family is in town from Florida and SFD's family is all in from MN so we are so happy to have them all. Plus, so many of our friends are sharing this awesome day with us and we are sooooo thankful to them.

Finally, I bought a GORGEOUS dress for the occasion and am super-psyched to wear it!!!

I will post pics and more details once I get everything uploaded later this week so you can see more from Butterball's Baby Shower.

Until then... to catch up on what I've been up to in my 7th month of pregnancy (how did that happen so fast!!) have a look at my latest MyFirstBaby.com vlogs:

This one tells all about BB's global travels so far.

If you're looking for maternity style tips, click here!

As always, please leave a comment and a 'like.' I really appreciate you stopping by and helping MyFirstBaby.com grow!!!

My Baby is Swag-Happy!

2010-09-10T11:39:00.000-05:00

Hey ya'll...

got another video on My First Baby!

Please check it out... give it a 'like'... and remember to thank those people who are so generous in your lives.

Butterball is one spoiled little girl!!!

Thanks!!!

Butterball is a star!!!!

2010-09-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

Well... it's taken me long enough... but I've finally posted videos I've been storing up on My First Baby!!!

Whew - it's nice to accomplish at least one thing on my to-do list.

Anway, if you'd like to check them out... go to http://www.myfirstbaby.com/!

Look for Patricia - or just go to the recently posted videos.

And if you like what you see - please remember to give Butterball a "like." She really appreciates it!!!

Pee Pee Pow Wow

2010-08-30T20:06:00.000-05:00

Notice to fellow airline passengers: If you see a pregnant lady coming out of the plane's bathroom with toilet paper sticking out of her maternity jeans, please be a dear and give her a heads up. She can't see behind her anymore. Thx.

The Sound of Music

2010-08-21T09:11:00.000-05:00

I've got to be honest. I've never seen the movie 'The Sound of Music.' I know it's supposed to be a classic and blah blah blah but it's never managed to capture my attention while scrolling through the Tivo lineup.

However, I do LOVE the sound of music. From country (Lady A/Jason Aldean) to pop (Gaga/Kris Allen) to rap (Eminem) to rock (Kings of Leon) to classical (Ravel), I'm never far from tunage. Pandora at work... Ipod while mowing the law... VH1 Top 20 Countdown during Saturday mornings at work... I can't get enough.

The best part of this is that I get to share it all with Butterball now. One of my favorite things to do with her is listen to music in the car and discuss the artist... sing a little bit... talk about the album and year it came out and what was going on.

We've covered a lot so far.

Pearl Jam - Alive

Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

Lady Antebellum - their whole album

Lee Ann Womack - her bluegrass stuff especially

Eminem - Recovery

Default - second US-released album

Anyway... I could go on and on with the names of artists we've learned about together. Sometimes BB kicks like crazy (darn her, she's a Miley fan!!), other times I think she's already tuning out mommy. Like, "I KNOW, MOM. BUT EMINEM WAS SOOOO 2000'S."

Either way, it's a simple joy of parenthood I'm loving even before BB is born.

23 Weeks (5 1/2 Months)

2010-08-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

It's a Butterball bump!

Question (of the day/month)

2010-08-04T14:05:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all... after a weekend break to throw one of the biggest garage sales I've ever been a part of, I'm officially back to work. The sale was, thankfully, a success. We needed to accomplish two goals, a) make room for baby, b) earn enough moula to buy paint for butterball's room. I've already ordered fabric swatches from bedding I like to see if I can get a local store to recreate paint in those colors. Wish us luck!!!

Anyway, I have another article assignment I'm working on and would love your input. As always, please leave me your name and where you're from so I can include your statements in the article (unless you want to use an alias... which is cool... I just need to know you're choosing to go that route for ethics and attribution purposes). Cheers!!!

Question: When sports just aren't in the cards... what do you do if your kid has zero interest in sports??? (ie how to ensure they get exercise and perhaps how to deal with a disappointed parent who was hoping to raise the next Brett Favre) What's your advice???

Here's Your Sign...

2010-07-28T21:27:00.000-05:00

When I became pregnant, I fully expected to become engrossed in all those baby and birthing shows plastered on cable. You know the ones... A Baby Story, Birth Day, NICU... the list goes on and on.

But I've come to find out that I don't want to see anyone else's horror show. At this point in my pregnancy (5 1/2 months or 22 weeks), the prospect of labor still scares the crap out of me (which, coincidentally I've heard happens during labor). I will totally admit I am creeped out by the site of babies when they are first born. They're coated in blood and white goop, often have purple and wrinkly skin, and scream to high heaven (I guess I would too, if I were plucked from a warm, cozy womb and thrust into cold, sterile birthing environments).

But there is one show that bugs, annoys and appalls me every time I see a clip of it on 'The Soup.' You can probably guess where I'm going with this if you've ever stumbled on to Discovery Health.

It's called 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.'

Now, I'm not trying to pass judgment on the women featured in this fine piece of television, nor am I meaning to sound crass, but the junior-high phrase 'dropping the kids off at the pool' takes on a whole new meaning when you watch this show. Seriously - does every episode have to end with a woman taking a dump and whoops! - out comes a baby??!!

There have been so many signs that I am clearly, most definitely, preggers that it is hard to believe other women could have missed their signs. So... in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy... here's your sign that you're knocked up:

Do you gag, dry heave and occasionally puke when you brush your teeth? Guess what, you're pregnant.

Have your feet 'suddenly' grown outside the soles of your shoes? Just a heads up, you're knocked up.

Do your farts smell so bad you could clear out an entire concert hall - even those folks in the nosebleeds? Yep, you've got a bun in the oven.

When you spit water out of your mouth in the shower, does it hit your stomach instead of heading straight for the drain like it did before? You'll be a mum in 9 months.

Does your tummy flip and flop as soon as you lay down at night? You don't have gas, you have a womb.

Can you eat an entire bag of Bertolli meals-for-two by yourself? You're not fat, you're pregnant.

Are your rings the casing around your sausage fingers - especially in the morning? You'll be changing diapers soon.

Have your arms suddenly started playing Bingo by themselves? Blame the baby.

Is your underwear taking up residence in your butt crack? Guess what, your hips don't lie, you'll soon have a munchkin by your side.

Do you find yourself mixing up words, misplacing your keys or forgetting items on the grocery list? You're not losing your mind, you're getting a nugget.

Do you look like you should buy stock in Proactive? Don't do it - you can't use it anyway - you're preggo.

At the end of the day, are your ankles the size of your thighs? It's not bloat, it's a baby.

Does your normally rolly, polly (or at least soft and girly) stomach feel like there is something from the movie 'Aliens' inside it? You got it - there is.

Do you have at least one hot flash a day? It's not menopause, it's gestation!

Does an episode of Drop Dead Diva where a man is fighting to retain custody of his chimpanzee from his ex-wife bring you to a sobbing, snotty mess of tears? You are SOOOOOO pregnant.

Obviously, I'm writing these examples from my own experiences of growing Butterball inside me - and honestly, I wouldn't change a minute of it. I love being pregnant.

But I'd love to hear your signs Lady Foxworthy's!!

Just don't tell me you pooped and out came your kid.

Today is the Day!!!

2010-07-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

We find out the sex of our baby/nugget/Butterball today and needless to say, it is ALL WE CAN THINK ABOUT!!!!

The most recent poll of what Butterball is, is more even than the initial tally. Early on, people were thinking 80% girl, 20% boy. But now it's nearly 50-50!!!! So who knows what we'll be having!!!

It's so flippin' exciting!!! Although, I admit I am still trying to wake up after we spent a fabulous night out with friends yesterday. Who knew going to bed after midnight would be a problem - I used to do that all the time!!! Welcome to my new life, I guess!

Well, we even made a video during last night's excursion and posted it on My First Baby!! Hope you'll check it out - and remember to 'like' it if you do.

Once again, thank you so much for being a part of our journey!!! It's so much better to share it with friends!!

Nugget or Nuggette?

2010-07-17T19:56:00.000-05:00

I can't believe the moment we've been waiting 5 (long) months for is finally almost here! In less than a week, SuperFutureDad and I will know who we'll be welcoming to our family. It's just the most exciting thing to happen in like, forever!!! Ok, besides our wedding day. And when we got engaged. Well, it's one of the most exciting things that will happen in our lifetimes. I get to be a part of the Mommyhood!

So, I'm conducting a little informal poll - what do you think we're having? A Nugget or a Nuggette??
Cast your votes here!

Meantime, some other exciting things have been developing with baby. About a week ago I was lying in the dark just before bed and all of a sudden, BLURP!, in my belly. Did I feel something, I wondered? So I waited... and waited... then BLURP! That had to be it, right? That had to be our baby!!!!

But then... nothing. For the next couple of days it was like it was all dream. I tried to figure out a way to describe it to SuperFutureDad. I've heard it called 'the flutter,' 'bubbles,' 'swishes,' things like that. Here's what I came up with: You know when you're swimming in water when there is fish present? You'll be floating along, and then out of nowhere, a fish comes and skims your leg? It's like you definitely feel something brush against you, but it's diluted because of the water. To me, that's how Butterball feels. I know - what a weird description, right?? After those first couple of days of dormancy, BB has, for the most part, been jazzercising like crazy.

My favorite moment so far came last night. I was lying on the couch after another long day at work and stuffing my face with kettle corn. I love me some kettle corn!!!! SFD and I were talking about our days when WHAM!, Butterball goes karate on my bladder. I mean straight down karate chop! I kinda laughed and told SFD baby is either angry or as majorly in love with kettle corn as I am. A few seconds later, WHAM! karate chop to the bladder. I just pictured BB taking an elbow straight down - like breaking a board - except it's my bladder! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Needless to say I got up to pee and that was it for BB. He/She stayed quiet the rest of the night.

Nugget vs Nuggette

2010-07-10T21:12:00.000-05:00

SuperFutureDad and I are gearing up for our 20 week (5 month) appointment. I can't believe it's gone by so fast! I know it really hasn't when I think back to all that we have done and all that has changed in our lives and all that is different with my body.

This baby has traveled to Las Vegas and Belize, SFD and I have signed up for parenting classes, and in the last two weeks I suddenly have a BELLY!!!!

But at the same time all these changes were going on our daily lives had to continue - and what a blur that's been!!!

As it stands, we're still fairly unprepared nursery- and product-wise for Butterball. Although I have started a couple of registries, the big ticket items still elude me. There is so much changing technology and standards I feel have to be checked out that I can't seem to bring myself to decide on a high chair, car seat, stroller, etc. When push comes to shove, we'll have to decide, but right now I'm holding off pending consultations with friends.

We have picked out a crib, but haven't ordered it.

We have paint picked out if BB is a girl, but if it's a boy, we're at a stalemate.

We're signed up for parenting classes, but haven't agreed on a boy's middle FutureNuggetName.

All in good time, I'm sure, but since time seems to be flying, I feel increasing pressure to get things done - NOW!!!

ARGH!!!

First things first though - what are we having??? I have a feeling once we've figured out if we're having a Nugget or a Nuggette, other things will start to fall into place. I think knowing our baby's sex will motivate us to accomplish more... or, that's what I'm hoping.

So - What do YOU think we're having?? I'm hosting an informal poll and will post the results soon. I totally have a guess... but don't want to bias anyone.

Can't wait to hear what you think!!!

Don't Burn Down Your House

2010-07-06T22:24:00.002-05:00

Hola my fabulous Friends and Family...

If you have kids, pets, or are prone to leaving burning candles on in your house - please continue reading. If you don't fit any of these categories, you're perfect. Can I have lessons?

I am having a weeklong Scentsy Wickless Candle BOOK party. No need to come to a party... you can view and order items at your convenience! Isn't that great?

If you are new to the Scentsy products, here is a quick introduction. They are the latest thing in scented candles-their warmers warm the wax, instead of burn it so their products are leadless, wickless, flameless and smokeless.

Scentsy has 80 scents to chose from and close to 100 plugin, medium and full size warmers...you'll find something that will fit your decor.

Plus just for the month of July...Scentsy is bringing back 20 scents that have been discontiued in the past 6 years. JULY ONLY!

The warmers are electric and heat the wax using a 15 watt, 20 watt or 25 watt lightbulb depending on the warmer. Each scentsy bar can expect to last anywhere from 60 to 80 hours. Scentsy also carries hanging freshners, room sprays and travel tins.

I have books and the scents on hand if you would like to come and check them out...or you can check out the Scentsy products at www.scentsy.com/amygriego and go to my name listed on open parties.

Shipping will be charged on all online orders....otherwise it will be free.

Also, if you would like to hold a party (book or an at home party) the consultant is giving away a free plug in warmer when you close your party ( if held in the month July). I will then in return receive a 1/2 price item at your party.

If you have any questions let me know or you can also contact the consultant at 218-329-2335...Amy Griego, Independent Scentsy Consultant.

If you do order something, please make the check out to me and then I'll submit a bulk payment to make the process easier.

The consultant also has a Facebook page so be sure to check that out as well.

I will be closing on the 15th of July and items should arrive 2-3 weeks after that.

Thanks so much for considering!

Beiber Fever!!

2010-07-05T13:45:00.000-05:00

There is new phenomenon spreading across the pop music and tween world. Beiber Fever! It's in 'honor' of Justin Beiber, some 16(?)-year-old Canadian singing sensation. His songs and dance moves are apparently taking the world by storm.

But there is another fever spreading across the F-M area where I live. BABY FEVER!!! Everywhere I go, I am meeting someone who is preggers or hearing about another couple who is knocked up. It's awesome!!! It's so nice to know that there are other ladies like me who are going through the same thing. And for the women who have been through it before and are on their second or third or fourth babies, the advice is invaluable!!!

For me, I'm still figuring it out as I go - and, of course, posting it here on the blogosphere and on My First Baby for all the world to read and see!! My second video is up and running! Thanks to Neaner for making a guest appearance... look for another episode with the two of us soon.

This week, I am officially 19 weeks (almost 5 MONTHS!!!!) preggers. I still don't understand where the time is going. I am feeling great (except for the occasional hormonal headaches which bring me to my knees) and loving the transformation my body is going through. I realize not all women enjoy seeing their body expand, but I was never a thin girl to start with, so seeing my belly grow with Butterball inside it has been a pleasure so far. Ask me again in a couple of months and maybe I'll have changed my tune - but I hope not!

SuperFutureDad and I have a TON to do, though. That's the only part that's really intimidating about this whole process so far. We have nothing picked out. Can't decide on nursery colors. Still don't have the house in order. Need to have a garage sale. The list goes on and on. We make a great team so I'm sure it will all work out, but thinking about all the STUFF that needs to happen before Butterball arrives is stressful!

Anyway, here's what BabyCenter says about Butterball's development in week 19:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.

Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

My First Baby

2010-06-29T14:49:00.000-05:00

Well - I've finally done it! I've completed my first video for My First Baby!

It's been a long time coming since I found out AGES ago that SuperFutureDad and I had been picked by Meredith Video Studios to be a part of this fantastic - and fun - project.

If you haven't visited My First Baby before, you're in for a treat. It's an online community where first-time moms and moms-to-be share their experiences on their journey toward the Mommyhood. The best part is, it's all video so you get to see people's cute little nuggets or you get to watch their bellies expand (like mine is!!!).

My introductory video is live so if you have 30 seconds (the videos are only between 30 secs and a minute) please check it out and leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you now that you can actually see what I look like carrying Butterball! Plus, feel free to leave me ideas for videos that you'd like to see in the future!!!!

And don't forget that some of the webisodes will be featured on a nationally-syndicated lifestyle television show called 'Better.' You can also follow 'My First Baby' and 'Better' on Facebook and Twitter.

OH! Before I go, I should also give you an update on where I am in this journey!

I am in my 18th week of pregnancy (4 1/2 months) and feeling great!!! My energy has returned. The headaches and insomnia have, for the most part, subsided. I can definitely tell I am gaining some weight - won't be too long before I need to move fully into maternity wear. I'm getting my exercise from mowing the lawn and walking to the pool and swimming. If I could swim everyday, I would - it's the best!

As for Butterball, here's what BabyCenter has to say:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

DreamWeaver

2010-06-21T12:27:00.000-05:00

For the past three days I have dreamed about chasing tornadoes, watching my dog get into a fight with another dog, sex, and myriad other topics. They are so vivid, I swear they are real. Even the hubs woke up to me one night kicking the blankets off like crazy (I was running!). I'm averaging about 4 - 5 dreams a night since getting pregnant with Butterball. Sometimes they continue even after I've woken up for a potty break. It's freaky!

Turns out though, it's totally normal and lots of preggo women experience vivid dreams. But why? Thanks to BabyCenter.com I found the answer. Here's what they have to say:

Dreams During Pregnancy

Many women report that their dream life shifts into high gear during pregnancy. Interestingly, during the second and third trimesters, you spend less sleep time in rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the cycle in which most dreams occur. Why, then, all those frequent and vivid dream memories?

It's probably at least in part because you may be interrupting a dream-filled cycle when you wake up to pee, cope with heartburn, leg cramps, restless legs, or a backache, or to shift to a more comfortable position. Waking up during REM sleep makes you more likely to remember your dreams.

It may also be in part that dreams seem so vivid during pregnancy because for most women pregnancy is a time of such heightened emotions — from joy to apprehension and everything in between — but no one really knows for sure.

Here's a look at some common themes and what they may mean, according to Patricia Garfield, a clinical psychologist and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Dreams.

You're caring for baby animals. During the second trimester, many pregnant women dream about cuddly, baby-like animals, such as puppies, chicks, and kittens. Friendly creatures in your dreams are generally thought to signify that you're tuned in to your instincts. Menacing animals, on the other hand, may represent ambivalence about the strange new creature entering your life.

You have a sexy encounter with an old flame. Many mothers-to-be are concerned about their changing figure and its effect on their sex life — while many others feel more sexually charged than ever. Both feelings are often reflected in your dreams. Not only do erotic dreams offer comforting reassurance, but they may mirror the sexiness you feel during your waking hours, too.

Your mate is straying. If you dream that your partner hooks up with an ex-girlfriend or a total stranger, it can signal insecurity about holding his love and attention through a time of great change. Right now, you're dependent on the goodwill and support of those around you, especially your partner. Fearing his loss is a common emotional reaction to being pregnant.

What did you dream about during pregnancy? Were they crazy? I'd like to hear all about it!

What a Good SFD!

2010-06-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

On Father's Day, I feel it's only fitting to acknowledge and thank the hubs for being such a great partner, especially during these first four months of pregnancy. He may not realize I notice all the little things he does, but I try keep up (he does so many)! So here is brief list of SuperFuture Dad's best moments:

1.) Buying me cherries and protein-enhanced bread. I happened to mention the other day that I was craving cherries and lo and behold, what do I find in the fridge yesterday?! Fresh, beautiful, red, ripe cherries! Yum-o! He also knows I've been having a tough time eating meat and therefore getting enough protein. As I was deciding on what to eat for breakfast this morning, I pulled open the breadbox and saw a brand new loaf of bread that reads "protein-enriched." He's very thoughtful.

2.) Giving me massages and foot rubs. I don't often like massages - I have a hard time relaxing during them. But SuperFutureDad gets in there anyway, not letting me squirm away. He works his fingers in just like I ask him to which is very nice. He also does not shy away from pulling my toes and rubbing my feet. My toes have never cracked so good - Thank You!!!!

3.) Scooping and filling the cat litter. Believe it or not, this is actually a chore I miss. I love the idea of caring for my kitties and making sure they're poop is getting scooped is something I know makes them happy. However, since getting KU'd, SuperFutureDad has really stepped up (and to be honest, he's had to because of risks of toxoplasmosis). And even when I said I'd take care of the litter when he goes away on a trip next week, he flinched and said he'd rather I not I risk it because of the potential for birth defects when dealing with cat feces. So I'll be calling his dad. Another good man!

4.) Letting me sleep. I've slept a lot during my pregnancy. Sometimes 12 hours a night. That means I've let some household chores slip by the wayside. He's never bothered me if I need to catch some shut eye and he's never made me feel bad for not keeping up my end of the chores. Not that he would do either of those things, anyway. But it's still a lovely attribute and I'd like to say thanks.

5.) Going to baby classes with me. We haven't officially gone to our first parenting class yet, but when we received the list of available classes to take from the doctor, he pulled out his schedule and made sure we picked classes we could both attend. It will be so nice to have my partner there!!

6.) Spending a 'baby day' with me. On one particular day off that we both shared, SFD really wanted a burger and fries. I couldn't stomach the idea and suggested a stir-fry place instead. He agreed. Then I said, "Why don't we stop at some baby stores and check out some cribs?" He said, "Sure. How many stores?" "Four," I said. And without even raising an eyebrow, he agreed. And so we spent the entire day doing baby stuff. We ate stir-fry because all I can stomach is veggies and tofu. We went to eco-friendly stores, baby boutiques, and big box stores all in the name of seeing what's what when it comes to baby cribs and gear. And I have to say, it was so much fun!!! So thanks for being a great SuperFutureDad!!!!!

I love you!!! Happy Father's Day.

Find Me Here

2010-06-15T13:04:00.000-05:00

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

I've been accepted as the Fargo New Moms Examiner! Yippee!

You may be asking, what in the world is an Examiner?! Essentially, it's a current events and trends Web site that localizes what's going on in your community with real-time postings.

It's not like the news station that I work for full-time. We focus on hard news there. Of course, you can head to that Web site and Facebook page anytime for up-to-the-minute newsworthy items from across the state.

Examiner.com is different in that writers get a specific topic to report on - hence, I'm the New Moms Examiner. All of my items will inform and help new parents get a grasp on what life is like raising kids in the Valley. I'll cover media happenings, classes, upcoming events, etc. The bonus is - if there is something you'd like me to write about - just let me know. You can send me a blog comment, an email or contact me directly from my Examiner.com profile page.

Practically every large to mid-size city (including good 'ole Fargo) has its own Examiner page filled with articles from writers like me. So, if you're interested in becoming one (you have to apply) let me know! I can help you with the process and even tell you about the incentive referral program.

Ok, before this sounds any more like an info-mercial, I'm going to wrap this up! Hope you check out my Examiner.com page and spread the word.

Cheers!

Where's Scooby-Doo When You Need Him?

2010-06-12T09:58:00.009-05:00

A funny thing happened when I came into work Friday. I thought I would share the resulting email:

Did anyone notice something wrong with the refrigerator in the corner of the breakroom? Was a green bag causing trouble?

The reason I ask is that when I came into work this morning, my green lunch bag was on the breakroom table and my bag of salad, jello (and possibly a yogurt) were missing. A bag of chips and bottle of water were still inside.

If my bag was causing trouble (those green bags are known to be a bit racy), I apologize. Sometimes that fridge gets full and blocked with stuff and my bag is big - sorry!

However, if it was acting harmlessly, and someone decided to violate it and its contents, please abstain from this behavior again.

I'm pregnant, therefore hungry, and I will find out who you are.

PS - If you decide to post this note on one of those passive-aggressive breakroom note Web sites, again, I will find you.

PPS - The salad was Caesar.

And this is the kind email I got from a co-worker in return - which I very much appreciate:

Your bag was on the break room table at 12:30 am so at 1:00 am I put your salad, jello and yogurt in the refrigerator by the door.

It’s in the butter tray with your name on it now.

Jello ,Yogurt, salad was very warm so It must have been setting out for sum time.

Sorry I forgot to leve you a note.

Needless to say, I will not be consuming the above-mentioned foodstuffs for fear of dying a slow, botulism-laced death.

Trusting Life

2010-06-10T10:43:00.000-05:00

On The Minds of Moms Magazine has done it again! My editors, Dani and Sheri, have put together another amazing issue filled with incredible advice, meaningful stories and inspiring profiles. I am so honored to contribute to this magazine and I hope that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing for it.

For this latest issue, I met and interviewed an incredible woman named Laetitia Mizero. At first, her story will bring you to tears (and yes, I admit, that's sort of the vibe I was going for) and then it will uplift your spirit to make you feel like anything is possible. And it is. Laetitia is proof.

To read the entire article - click here!

You can pick up your free copy at any Hornbacher's or Sunmart grocery markets in the Fargo-Moorhead area. OR, if you really like what you see, sign up for a subscription! You'll be so happy everytime you find a new issue in your mailbox - I promise!

Finally, if you are an editor, blogger, Web host, or any other business who desires a writer, please feel free to contact me. I am an award-winning reporter/writer who specializes in parenting, lifestyle, fitness, health, and design writing. But I can do it all: magazine, newspaper, television, web and radio. For more of my work, head over to my Web site and be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn.

What is Necessary?

2010-06-09T11:44:00.000-05:00

So.

SuperFutureDad and I are beginning to wade through the massive 'must-have' lists that come with opening up any baby gift registry. Seriously? Do we need to invest in disposable bibs and potty training devices (already)? And all those toys out there!!!! It just seems like so much.... stuff!

Do we really need all these baby-rearing devices? Or is this a clever marketing ploy churned out by a man-behind-the-curtain partnership between merchandise companies and retailers?

I turn to you, seasoned mummies and daddies of the world:

What did you really need from your baby registry?

What things were you surprised you needed?

What do you wish you had registered for?

And what items and/or contraptions are still sitting in their wrapping on a closet shelf?

Please advise.

Over and out.

Work Those Fingers

2010-06-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone... I need your thoughts on something.

I'm researching an article on baby sign language...its pros and cons... and how it may help/hinder children with disabilities.

What are your thoughts on and/or experiences with baby sign language? What would you say are its pros and cons?

If you have a child with a disability, how useful have you found baby sign language?

If you know of any experts who teach baby sign language, please feel free to pass this post along. I'd love to get their thoughts, too.

Finally, if you do comment, could you please include your name, where you live and how many children you have. I may use you as a source for my article. If you prefer not to give me your real name, that's okay, too. Just make a note of that in your comment.

Thanks for the help ya'll!!!

14 weeks

2010-06-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

I think I've been really lucky. And I DO NOT take it for granted. I'm not just talking about the fact that SuperFutureDad and I are actually going to have a baby. A baby!!! I'm talking about my pregnancy journey so far.

Unlike some of my best friends, I have not had a terrible amount of nausea. I'm very thankful for that because it was really tough to hear and watch them feel so sick for, seriously, 9 months. Ugh.

But I haven't been without some side-effects. Here's a quick breakdown of what Butterball has been up to:

First Two Weeks (I found out within the first week of conception that I was preggers): Energy burst and extreme hunger. Like, every two hours hungry. But only for super healthy stuff. Carrots, cheese, almonds, fruit, granola. Yummy!

Latter Half of First Month and Second Month: Extreme aversion to meat. No chicken, fish, beef. YUCK!! This was really difficult to deal with because I had two trips planned during this time; Las Vegas (with the girls) and Belize (with the hubs). Needless to say, it was super hard to keep nugget a secret during Vegas but we told everyone in Belize because we were there with all my besties from high school! Love you guys!!!

There was also a lot of fatigue during this time. I became the queen of cat naps in my car, on the couch at work and in the living room chair. These areas have never seen so much drool in all their existence!!

Third Month: This is where things get weird. Like I said, I've been very lucky, but two of my side-effects have been painful and annoying to handle. Headaches and insomnia. I get pounding headaches about 3 times a week. They start with a mild but persistent pain on the left side of my forehead but within hours erupt into a crescendo of full-scale, wrinkle-inducing agony encompassing my entire cranium. OUCH! I end up having to lay down in a darkened room and trying to sleep it off, which can take hours. If I don't do this, I end up nauseous with major dry heaves. Nothing ever comes out, but the dry heaving leaves me teary-eyed with snot rippling from my nose. Pleasant, no? I think this is why SuperFutureDad hightails it out of the room when the "hwaph" chorus begins.

The insomnia is a whole other mess. Virtually every night I wake up around 3:30 and am wide-eyed for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. This is not a good thing, especially the days I have to work. The days I don't work, I can handle it by taking a fabulous cat nap. There is really no rhyme or reason to what I think about during these pitch-black hours and most of it I can't remember anyway. Although I do remember crafting a nasty letter in my head to someone (or something) that shall remain nameless. It was good, too!

This all leads me to my desires as I continue with my fourth month of pregnancy:
No more headaches!
No more insomnia!
Back to better eating - I know I need more protein so will vow to find someway to stomach meat products
Find a consistent exercise routine - I'd like to get back into yoga
Create a plan for how to prepare for Butterball over the latter half of pregnancy - nursery, finances, day care, registry

Enjoy this time!!!!! I am anxious to feel nugget move... I think that is the biggest step I want to experience next.

For your reference, here's a handy guide from BabyCenter.com on how Butterball is developing:

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

Two Lines? I Cannot Tell a Lie.

2010-05-29T08:54:00.000-05:00

Boy, has it been a while since you've heard from me! But I promise there is a very good reason.

About 3 months ago... well... nearly 14 weeks ago in fact, I found out SuperFutureDad and Almost Mommy were going to become SuperDad and First Time Mommy!!

I know! Hard to believe, right?? We are no longer in the land of no nuggets!

After nearly a year of trying to conceive, we finally knocked boots at the right time to get me knocked up! Here's the proof:

Needless to say, it's been an incredibly difficult secret to keep from my blogosphere buddies but one that I felt needed to stay between me and SFD and our families. But now that we've spilled the beans to our closest friends and relatives, we're happy to share the fantastic news with the world!

And we are going to be doing exactly that (no joke!) for a new Webisode series called 'My First Baby,' produced by Meredith Video Studios. How cool is that! You can find the webisodes and all the program information at this web addy (although they tell me it won't be live until June 14th). So please be sure to check back then (I'll send you a reminder, too).

The Webisodes will also be featured on a nationally-syndicated lifestyle television show called 'Better.'
To find out where and when 'Better' airs in your area, click here! Just so you know Nai Nai, 'Better' airs on the Fort Myers Fox station WFTX at 6:00 am. And I know you're up at that ridiculous hour, so you should be able to catch it.

You can also follow 'My First Baby' and 'Better' on Facebook and Twitter.

We filled out a written application, passed two rounds of phone interviews and submitted a (laughable) application tape to get accepted and we are so pumped! Now, all of our friends and family who live far away can be a part of our pregnancy experience and beyond.

Here's how it works: they are sending us a Flip Cam (it's in the mail now) and we go to town shooting video of the ups and downs of the next, in our case, 6 months before delivering our little nugget. Then we do some more shooting after we bring our little bundle home! It's going to be a really uplifting and positive look at what life is really like for us as new parents, although we're not immune to a brisk dose of reality either. We've already found out that day cares in our area have waiting lists stretching into April 2011!! So, I'm sure this will be a really eye-opening experience and it will all be captured on tape.

So... what I want to do now is take your questions!!! Since I haven't written for so long, I'm sure you're curious as to how this all happened, how I've been feeling, etc. But maybe you're not and just want me to get on with keeping you up to date from this point on. Either way, I love feedback and want to hear from you!

I'm baaaaaaacccckkkkk!

It's a Procreation Vacation (Deuce)

2010-04-14T18:05:00.000-05:00

Whattup y'all? Well... it's been, like, forever since you last heard from me. So sorry!!! I think the reason is that I've finally stopped hibernating and am enjoying our early spring. This beautiful (and early) weather pattern is something I've never experienced here so I'm taking advantage of it while I can. Last year it rained all of June and July so my theory is you've got to get the good while the gettin's good. Or something like that.

Anyway, my real reason for writing is to let you know I've had several writing assignments published since I my last posting. My freelance career is so much fun... and yes, work... but I love it and am really thankful for all the opportunities editors have given me thus far. Here's a sampling of my recent stuff:

Babymoon in the ‘Burgs: Romantic Travel in Fredericksburg, VA & Gettysburg, PA:

as seen on The Vacation Gals

'SuperFutureDad and I had just crossed the border into Virginia from North Carolina when a ferocious rain storm nearly knocked us off the interstate. The fat drops fell fast as the wiper blades in our compact rental car furiously sloshed the water to the side. Good thing we spotted a “Virginia is for Lovers” sign. We pulled into a rest stop and bounded inside to collect some Virginia Tourism Board swag.'

Heather Butler: Life - embrace it, live it, love it:

as seen in the April/May issue of On The Minds of Moms Magazine

'If you had told Heather Butler when she graduated high school what her life would be like in twenty years, she would probably have thrown her head back and launched into her hearty, infectious laugh. She would have looked you straight in the eye—she’s spunky and direct—and said in her throaty voice, “Yeah, right!” Who knew she’d be a dental hygienist and a stay at home mom? She’d spend thousands of hours volunteering and fishing. She’d be divorced once, married twice and have not three, not four, but five, beautiful children. And believe it or not…she wouldn’t have it any other way.'

I hope you get a chance to check these out!

Until next time...

Planning a Bodacious Baby Shower

2010-03-27T16:44:00.000-05:00

So... one of my besties here is almost ready to pop with her first nugget! I am so excited! I get to be an Auntie (by location default, of course).

Several months ago a couple of her good friends and I decided that we would throw her a bodacious baby shower - or at least try to. Well, now the day is almost here (tomorrow) and I am stressing!! I want everything to be perfect! It's her first baby after all... you don't get baby showers after the first one, do you??

I just keep imagining what I would want my baby shower to be like and I'm hope, hope, hoping that we are giving our friend the shower she deserves and wants!!

So... although there is not much time left... I would love your opinions on whether or not we are on the right track.

Location: Chez moi... in our basement... where the fireplace is. We have 2 couches, 2 arm chairs, 2 ottomans, and countless other random chairs for gals to sit in. There is also a bathroom on that floor so no need to go upstairs.

Time: 2 pm.

Decorations:
Baby Shower banner hung above the fireplace
Shiny foil Baby Shower banner hung across the big screen TV
Mummy-To-Be gets to wear a sash that reads... you guessed it... MOM-TO-BE

Theme:
She is not finding out the sex of her baby so I went with a Noah's Ark, multi-color theme. We have Noah's Ark plates and napkins and cups... as well as plates, cups and napkins in pale yellow. That's gender neutral isn't it?
I bought a green tablecloth because her nursery is painted green. The invitations were also designed with her nursery's color in mind.

Menu:
Build-your-own sandwiches with a choice of turkey or ham, white or wheat cocktail buns and Colby cheese.
I'll put condiments in little dessert bowls so people can choose what they want.
Tortilla chips and queso.
Veggie tray.
Fresh, air-popped popcorn using SuperFutureDad's movie-theater-type popper
Crackers, pretzels and cheese
Fruit pizza
Cake - chocolate with chocolate frosting decorated with same green as her shower. It reads: "Oh, baby! Congrats, (her name)!
Candy - placed into hurricanes for easy grabbing

Drinks:
Box 'o Wine
Bottle of champagne
Fruit Punch

Games:
I am not in charge of games but I think we are planning on having 2 different games. The traditional melted chocolate bar in diaper game... I think a microwave is involved.
And a 'guess the M&M count' game. Her friend filled baby bottles with green and brown M&M's (again, her nursery colors) and whoever guesses the correct amount of candy wins the bottle as a party favor.

Whew!!! I think that's it. We are expecting about 25 people. If you have any suggestions of how we can pull this off better, I'm all ears.

Question (of the day/of the month)

2010-03-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

Help! My laptop is dying a slow, painful death. Right now, it's wheezing like it needs a tracheotomy. I can not - repeat, can not - live without a 'puter. It must be portable (laptop), have long battery life, have lots of room for music and photos and be easy to navigate and store my writing. So...

What computer would you recommend for someone like me?

Obviously price will always be an issue, but I'm trying to not let that dictate my choice. My above-listed requirements are much more important. I really look forward to your feedback on this one!

It's a Procreation Vacation!

2010-03-03T10:48:00.000-06:00

Howdy doo world wide web highway neighbors! It's a great day isn't it? It's cold as heck here, a massive spring flood is just around the corner and I've got to return to the 9-5 today (although it's more like 12 - 10:30 pm).

But you know what, all sarcasm aside, life is good. March Madness is on its way, I've got holidays scheduled for April, a rockin' concert to see in June and an indoor soccer league that is starting up soon!

Yippee!!

Oh! And one other thing - I'm making my debut as a guest writer on The Vacation Gals!

My first post is up - it's all about me and SuperFutureDad's version of a babymoon!

You can check it out here! I hope you like it.....

Proof Positive

2010-03-02T14:31:00.000-06:00

Gosh - it's amazing that making a simple choice could yield such massively positive results.

A while ago I wrote this piece, about my efforts to live my life like I've always imagined. And by that I mean, being a good person. Not great. Not excellent. Just good. Simple. Honest. Open.

I talked of what I thought I already did well in life and the things I'm pretty poor at doing.

My intention of writing this down was to make myself accountable. To myself. To my husband. To my family and friends. To the people who have so lovingly allowed me into their lives. And the rewards (unforeseen at the time), reinforce why this is the best life goal I could have ever set for myself.

I am seeing more of my gal (and guy) pals than ever before and we are all taking active efforts to be more involved in each other's lives. We have set up a dinner party group, gone out for a birthday bowling bash and even attended a different kind of party. I feel like a better friend and am so happy to know how my friends are doing in their lives - the good and the bad.

I am answering emails in a more timely manner, something I've been terrible at doing in the past. This has lead me to great volunteering opportunities reading to elementary school kids and a few new writing opportunities. Both things make me feel really happy.

I am noticing there is a time and a place for swearing. I will always, ALWAYS, have a sailor's vocabulary, but dropping an f*bomb while reading to kindergartner's is not something I want to be known for. However, I must say a massive thank you to this morning's first grade teacher for having a laugh with me when my Tommy Boy ring tone went off in class. Luckily, I reached it before it got to the dickhead part.

SuperFutureDad and I are saying things like 'please' and 'thank you' and 'I love you' more. That feels GREAT!!! Politeness goes a looooonnnnngggg way when dealing with the ones you love and they deserve graciousness and gratitude as much as - if not more than - the stranger for whom you open the door.

My world is still black and white but I'm trying to choose to ignore the things I can't change. This doesn't happen everyday but when it does, it's liberating. No toxic-energy for me! As tiara-wearing Julia Mancuso stated during the Olympics, 'save the drama for your mama.'

All of this being said, I am still a work in progress. That's life, eh? You live, you learn. You try to be good.

But if I find you putzing around the left lane forcing me to pass you on the right, I will still give you the bird. You deserve it.

State of Mind

2010-03-01T16:16:00.000-06:00

Hey all - Big News!!

I'm making my debut as a writer for a new Web site this week. It's called The Vacation Gals and it offers expert advice on family travel, girlfriend getaways and romantic escapes. I believe my post will be up on Wednesday, but I'll let you know for sure!

SuperFutureDad has read and signed off on it, so I hope you will like it, too!

Meantime, check out my state of mind... what's yours??

Current read: sticking with Kathy Reichs... this time going with Grave Secrets. Seriously, if you like mystery and crime novels - or the TV show 'Bones' - you will LOVE her books.

Current TV Show Obsession: The Inbetweeners

You. Must. Watch. This. Show.

Current Song Addiction: Live Like You Were Dying by Kris Allen... I'm not one to watch American Idol and I won't start because of this guy but he almost makes me want to... almost.

Current Movie Obsession: Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino. Yup... finally hopped on that bandwagon.

Question (of the day/of the month)

2010-02-12T11:13:00.004-06:00

I pose this question based on a situation that one of my preggers pals finds herself in:

Does your Ob/Gyn or delivery doctor have an obligation to inform you that he/she will be on vacation during your expected due date?

Do you have the right to tell them your upset if they are going on vacation (especially if they haven't told you they are)?

What sorts of action(s) can you take to ensure your birthing plan is still one your comfortable with?

I'm really intrigued by this situation. It popped up during the movie 'Knocked Up' but I never really gave it much thought until it actually happened to someone I know. I'm not in a position to give the proper advice, so again, I turn to Tales readers like you for perspective.

State of Mind

2010-02-12T10:48:00.000-06:00

Current Read: Anything by Kathy Reichs

Current Song Addiction: How by Katharine McPhee off her new album Unbroken

Current TV Show Obsession: Still rolling with my USA Network shows!

Current Movie Obsession: Valentine's Day... but only because I've got a hot Monday night date with my ladies!!!!!

Choices

2010-02-10T19:50:00.000-06:00

One of my goals in life is to be a good person. In fact, above all my other endeavors, this is the one I think about most often. I want to be a good person more than anything in the world.

I don't always succeed at being good, but I like to think I try pretty darn hard.

I'm a loving daughter. I respect my parents and visit them at their home in the Sunshine State as often as I can (especially when one of them is recovering from a nasty accident - love ya dad!).

I say 'please' and 'thank you.' Even to strangers. And my husband.

I work hard. I hold myself accountable at my everyday job so other people don't have to.

I call my out-of-town besties often and I plan regular get-together's with my local gal pals, too.

But sometimes (more than I'd like to admit) I fail miserably at achieving 'goodness.'

I swear. A lot.

I'm quicker to speak than I am to think.

I don't answer emails in a timely manner.

I get frustrated by slow talkers and interrupt them.

I belch. Out loud. Sometimes I do this in public.

I speed. And if you drive slow in the left lane on the interstate and I have to pass you on the right, chances are I will salute you. Not in a nice way, either.

I (usually) think I'm right. And presume others (yes, you) are wrong.

The world I live in is black and white. Filled with what's right and what's wrong. Lawful and unlawful. I believe that everyone makes choices. You choose to be good or you choose to be evil.

Perhaps, this view, too, makes me not as good as I'd like to be.

I often find myself wondering if I'm truly good. Am I doing enough to be the person I want to be?

Most pressing on my mind as the 'Baby Jones' continues to rule my life, is what will my future children think of me? Will they notice the things I take pride in? Will they recognize my faults? Will they think I'm good?

Maybe they won't notice my pluses and minuses straight away, but at some point they will be all too aware of them. I believe that when you have nuggets, you are not only accountable for your behavior, but also (to a certain point) theirs.

You help them understand right and wrong. Lawfulness versus lawlessness. Good from evil.

I just want to be good. And I want them to be good, too.

No pressure, right?

State of Mind

2010-02-03T10:31:00.000-06:00

Trying something a little new here...

I though it might be fun to share some of the stuff I'm crushing on now... perhaps you'd like to share to?

Current Read: Dear John by Nicholas Sparks (that's right, I've jumped on that bandwagon)

Current Song Addiction: Already Gone by Sugarland (I would like to post a video of this from You Tube but I don't know how to show the whole window so you can play from here... can anyone teach me that??)

Current TV Show Obsession: White Collar, Psych and Burn Notice (love me some USA network)

Current Movie Obsession: The Hurt Locker (haven't seen it but desperately want to!)

Can't wait to hear what your crushing on!!!!!

Question (sometimes of the day, sometimes of the month)?

2010-02-01T19:49:00.000-06:00

Question, my faithful Tales readers... and, of course, the always-welcome newbies, too:

How do you feel about circumcision?

I have a dear friend who is pregnant with her first child, a boy. She has been researching why people get their boy nuggets circumcised. Since I am not a member of the Mommyhood yet, nor do I have a Lady Gaga, I turn to you for answers. What say ye?

PS - For the record, I don't think the Divine Miss G is a hermi. But if she were, I wouldn't give a flip. Long live the poker face, disco stick, paper gangsta and bad romance.

Baby Braggin' Wednesday: Max and Sam

2010-01-27T09:21:00.000-06:00

After last week's debacle, Baby Braggin' Wednesday is back! And these two bodacious brothers are making BBW better than ever. Let me introduce:

MAX AND SAM

OMG - isn't this pic the cutest?? Like older brother Max is telling a really cool secret about mummy to Sam? I can just imagine how this conversation is going...

Max: "Ok, dude, I know you're not liking the whole nap thing? I mean, who does, right?"

Sam: "Seriously! It totally messes up my Baby Einstein time. What should I do?"

Max: "First, you have to stop pooping. Just for a day. Give the woman a break. And for goodness sake, quit peeing on her when she goes to change your diaper! Once you've mastered that, it's all gravy."

Sam: "Sweet. So glad I got you, bro."

These two hunks belong to a co-worker of mine, Wendy. She and I worked a TON together during last spring's nearly catastrophic flood - while she was pregnant! Just about everyday, there she'd be, lugging our ridiculously heavy cameras all over God's creation to make sure we got the best flood footage around. She's a wonder! Thanks Wendy!!!

Anyway... Samson joined Wendy's clan just in time for the holidays this year - in November, on Friday the 13th. Yikes!! He weighed in at 6lbs 4 oz but his going home weight was 5lbs 14oz. Double yikes! "I had to buy some premie clothes to fit him in for about two weeks," says Wendy.

Two-year-old Max is still pretty leery of this new, younger nugget in the house. When Sam first came home, Max quickly rounded up all of HIS things and piled them into a corner. He's not down with sharing and has been known to refer to everything as "mine."

When the baby cries, Max will just toss stuff at him. He'll wing a pacifier at Sam when he thinks Sam's hum-gree (hungry) or toss a blanket over Sam's head if he thinks the baby's cold. "Anything to shut him up, I guess! LOL!!," laughs Wendy.

I'm guessing this is typical behavior for a terrible two-fer, right??

But Max does have a soft spot for the baby. He'll spend much of his free time looking for Sam. He'll check the usual spots - car seat, pak-n-play, swing. You name it. And every once in a while, there's a little glimmer of affection between the brothers.

"During a photo session in the living room, I got Max to give Sam a quick kiss, but due to a delay in the digital camera world, I just barely got it!," exclaims Wendy.

Wendy says her nuggets are both growing so fast she swears she can see Sam grow overnight as they snuggle in the recliner ("A MUST investment for new parents! You spend LOTS of time there.").

Thanks for sharing your cutie-patootie's with me Wendy!!!

If you'd like your nuggets featured in an upcoming edition of Baby Braggin' Wednesday, just email me some pictures, details like names and ages, and any other additional info or stories you'd think might be fun to share!

I look forward to writing about your babes!

Slingin' It

2010-01-26T15:34:00.000-06:00

My good friend from high school makes slings - those comfy over-the-shoulder, wrap-around-the-body baby-wearing things.

In fact, I've written about her Thing-A-Ma-Sling's on this blog before.

She, and several of my other Mommyhood friends, are big baby-wearing advocates. Experts like Dr. Sears (a renowned pediatrician), say baby-wearing babies cry less, learn more, are smarter and get 'humanized' earlier.

There are all sorts of baby-wearing products out there:

strap-on carriers

hip carriers

slings

(or wraps, as they're sometimes called)

But not everyone is sold on baby-wearing. Specifically, Consumer Reports is questioning the safety of slings. A recent post on their blog highlighted what they say is a link between slings and infant deaths or injuries.

Here's an excerpt taken directly from their blog:

"We know of at least seven babies who have suffocated in baby slings over the past 11 years. The cause of other deaths in slings were undetermined or may have been misclassified as SIDS. Additionally, we have reports of 37 infants who have been seriously injured in incidents with slings over the same time period. Those injuries include skull fractures, broken bones, and serious bruises.

We have warned readers about baby slings before and put them on our list of products not to buy for your baby. The response: Strong criticism from advocates who believe that baby wearing is the healthiest way to transport a baby and builds mother-baby bonding. But the growing number of fatalities and injuries associated with slings makes us even more resolute in our position on this product. We’re in no way opposed to baby wearing, but there are soft, wearable infant carriers that we believe are safer to use than slings."

You can read the entirety of the post by clicking here.

Now... since I don't have nuggets yet, I'm wondering your thoughts on this whole subject.
Do you baby-wear?
If not, what don't you like about it?
If so, what do you use?
Why do you like it?
Does Consumer Reports' findings and/or opinions affect your thoughts on baby-wearing and the myriad devices available to use?

I know there are plenty of passionate mums out there on both sides of the fence... so send me a shout out!

Author's note: As an educated and professional journalist, I have tried to maintain a balance between both sides of this issue in this post. Did I succeed? You tell me.

Baby Braggin' Wednesday: We Are So Screwed

2010-01-20T09:41:00.000-06:00

OMG! I did something I totally shouldn't have today... and the results are, well, as scary as hell.

Let me explain...

A few months ago I became an avid follower of a couple of dozen blogs about parenting, motherhood, baby products and design. One day as I was checking the daily influx of postings to my Reader, I spotted an entry from a blog written by a married gal who, at the time, was trying to conceive her first child. She, like me, had done something she probably shouldn't have... and, like me, the results were terrifying.

You see, she was writing about a Web site called Make Me Babies - a computer-generated ripoff of Conan O'Brien's (love him!) legendary 'If They Mated' segments. It's supposed to give you an example of what your Future Nugget will look like. So I'm doing things a little different this week for Baby Braggin' Wednesday. And you'll soon see why it's entitled 'We Are So Screwed'!

SuperFutureDad and I are the average, All-American couple; blond, blue-eyed, big-boned. Here's what we looked like on our fabulous wedding day. Isn't he a dream?? I realize my face is partially covered so for those of you who don't know me, this may not be the best shot. But he looks great and that's why I want to use it here (thanks to Shari Bare Photography for our darling pics!!!).

So... you might think from that pic, that our future nugget might be a bit of a looker, no? That's right, NO, is the appropriate answer. I give you Evidence A - FutureNugget#1:

Look at the size of ~~that~~ our kid's forehead!!!! Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger could've landed US Airways Flight 1529 on that thing! At least he/she/it has some cute freckles and a smile. Nice frame, too, btw.

But it all goes downhill from there my friends. Evidence B - FutureNugget#2:

This is too scary for words. And is that a tie around his neck? He looks like one of those creepy Benjamin Button kids who look like they're 80-years-old from birth. Wrong. So wrong.

Evidence C - FutureNugget#3:

Apparently our child will be Asian. I'm guessing we've adopted (which is something I've always wanted to do, btw). Maybe Make Me Babies knows something I don't.

Especially when you look at our daughter's brother - Evidence D - FutureNugget#4:

WTF??!!!

Oh, and look! We've adopted another daughter from Asia and this one has cornrows! Awesome!

Evidence E - FutureNugget#5:

These creations are just so funny! I'm not sure how SuperFutureDad feels about them, perhaps he'll leave a comment telling us?? (hint, hint)

In all seriousness, I would love to adopt children. It's a strenuous and expensive process and from what I hear from friends who have done it, entirely rewarding. So if this is what the future holds for us, then I am all for it!

Anyway, I've saved the best for last. I think we may have a winner!

Evidence F - FutureNugget#6:

Look at our cutie-patootie pirate!!! I'm loving the hair - ginger curls! A forehead slightly less prominent than Tyra Banks's. An adorable smile that will certainly get him out of trouble. I think this kid is as close to a perfect combination as we can get. No whammies here!

So... which one is your favorite??? Leave me a comment... and, if you're brave enough, email me your 'If They Mated' pics and I'll post a montage!!!!!

Ugly Betty Made Me Do It

2010-01-18T21:59:00.000-06:00

So tonight I created my nest in the basement next to the fire and hunkered down for a good, old-fashioned boob-tube marathon. SuperFutureDad made his killer spinach lasagna, I burned the garlic toast and my cat, Daisy, licked the leftovers. If ever there was a perfect winter night, I think I experienced it.

Here's what I zoned out to on my Tivo's 'Now Playing' list:

NCIS
NCIS: Los Angeles
Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice (ABC's much-hyped crossover event)
The Good Wife (congrats to lead actress Juliana Margulies on her Golden Globe win)
Ugly Betty

And while I was watching all of that, my lov-er-ly Tivo was picking up CBS' Monday night comedy lineup: HYMYM, Accidentally on Purpose and Big, Bang Theory.

Ahhhhh, bliss.

But what really caught my attention in my otherwise mind-numbing glory was one of Ugly Betty's themes: finding inspiration. Betty Suarez, the lead character, started a blog that she hoped would inspire someone. Turns out, her blog inspired her boyfriend to move to Africa to work as a volunteer in a village in Botswana. Too bad for Betty, great for her man and the people his work will affect in Africa.

Well, now I'd like to introduce you to someone with her own connections to Africa. And what she and her family are about to do is, perhaps, the most inspiring story I've ever written.

"Most people would say that it takes guts to quit your job, sell most of your belongings, and pack up your husband and two children to move to Africa to run an orphanage. But Lindsay Erhardt of Fargo isn’t like most people. She radiates kindness, warmth and generosity. You feel it the moment she bursts into a room, arms extended for a hug even though you’ve just been introduced. And while this wife and mother of two humbly waives off the idea that’s she gutsy, there is no doubt she is about to undertake something many of us wouldn’t dare to do..."

Read the rest of the story at On The Minds of Moms Magazine... click here!

While you're on OTMOM's Web site... don't forget to sign up to be their fan on Facebook! And while you're on Facebook, why not become my friend at Patricia Carlson? I look forward to connecting with you!

Blog Karaoke

2010-01-18T19:57:00.000-06:00

Hey ya'll... it's time for blog karaoke - where you get to pick the posts!

I'm getting a bit bored with all my whiny 'baby jones' posts so I thought I'd turn the tables and ask my fabulous readers out there:

"What would you like me to write about, research, review or comment on?"

Anything you want to know about me? It can be anything - you know I'm an open book!

Are there any questions you want answered about baby products or pregnancy issues? I'm happy to do the research for you!

Trends going on in the Mommyhood that you would like addressed? Let me be your voice!

Shoot me your ideas, comments, tips and questions and I'll get right on it. This is one of my goals for the upcoming year: try to be a little less narcissistic by writing posts all about me, and instead, try to be of more service to all of you!

I can't wait to hear what you have to say!!!!

Redux: Word of the Day: NIPPLE!

2010-01-17T22:41:00.010-06:00

I've updated this post to include pictures!!!

Well, howdy-doo neighbors! It's been a while.

I hope you are enjoying a stellar start to 2010. These first few weeks of January always bring about a bit of self-reflection for me... look for an upcoming post on that topic soon.

But what I'd like to mention now is an old Spice Girl's mantra that I really love - Girl Power!

Today, me and a bestie (see her cute nuggets here) threw a baby shower for a dear friend of mine who is expecting her first child. What a wonderful experience!!

It was my first time hosting a baby shower and boy (that's what she's having), was I nervous!! My lovely co-host and I decided on a Sunday afternoon affair with light desserts, coffee and lemonade, and tasteful favors. We used a Noah's Ark theme for the plates, cups and napkins. What's really unique is that we held the shower at local store - Pout Baby Boutique.

The store's owner, Kris (meet her munchkin here), was kind enough to come in on her day off and open up her fabulous establishment for all of us baby-crazy ladies.

A big THANK YOU to Kris and Pout for offering us the perfect location! If you're looking for unique clothing, nursing and feeding items, cloth diapers, wooden toys or any other cool baby products, Pout is the place to shop. Look for online shopping on Pout's Web site, soon, too!

The soon-to-be-mother-of-honor is due in about a month. She wore a beautiful Liz Lange silver velvet dress and looked smashing - I wish I had pictures to post!!! If I get some emailed to me, I'll repost this entry so you can see all the fun we had!

About twenty gals showed up for the shower. And immediately, for some odd reason, everyone was saying the word, 'nipple.' Maybe it had something to do with holding the shower in a baby shop or the numbers of bottles that were being unwrapped, or perhaps it was simply the number of nipples in one location, but everyone kept saying nipple! It's like the penis game you used to play in junior high. You know the one... where people would randomly shout out the word 'penis!' during class? Some people would say it all high-pitched and drag it out, like PPPPEEEE-NIIIIIIIIISSSS! Others, would start low, peeeeeeeee and then end with a bang, NIS!

The trick was to keep it going long enough that no teachers would ever catch on to what you're saying. However, now that I'm older (and wiser??), I'm guessing that teachers have always known about this game since every woman at the shower had heard about it.

Anyway, enough about girl and boy parts. The point I'd like to make, although it sure has taken me a while to get to it, is that It was so much fun to get together with a bunch of chicas and talk and laugh and gossip and catch up on each other's lives. Growing up, I always had a large support system of girls around me and that comeraderie is something I crave all the time. There is nothing like a group of girlfriends whom you can call at a moment's notice who just... get you.

And who don't mind when you get the urge to shout out NIPPLE!

That's true friendship. Congratulations Andey!!!!

Big Timing It

2010-01-09T08:17:00.000-06:00

Hey ya'll - guess who made the Big Time??!!

I'm this week's featured blogger over at 'The B Keeps Us Honest.'

How cool is that? Thanks so much to Jessica for hooking a sister up!

To read the full profile, click here!

Baby Braggin' Wednesday: Alisha and Ella

2010-01-06T10:23:00.000-06:00

Girl alert! Girl alert!

Wow - A few weeks ago, I put out a call for more sassy senoritas to be featured in Baby Braggin' Wednesday ("What's BBW," you ask? "Click here," I say). And boy, I mean girl, did you respond!

You've flooded my inbox with gorgeous pics of your cutie-patootie nuggets and outrageously funny stories. I couldn't be happier and more appreciative. Please consider sending your munchkin in to be profiled!

This week, two lovely ladies are making their BBW debut:

ALISHA AND ELLA

Alisha (3) and Ella (2) are two adorable sisters who live in Gillette, Wyoming. Their mum, Natasha, is SuperFutureDad's sister. She says her girls are goofy, full of energy and know how to make you laugh. "There's never a dull moment around here," says Natasha.

Here is Alisha and Ella posing for this year's Christmas picture - how cute??!!

Alisha is your typical girly-girl. She loves to play dress up and have tea parties. She likes to have her nails painted and is a make-up maven. "If you put lip gloss or even chap stick on her lips, she won't kiss anyone because it will come off," says her mum. "If we go outside while she has it on, she uses her hand to cover her lips so it doesn't blow off!" How precious!!

Alisha also like everything princess. She is attached to her toy cell phone and is very outspoken. If she thinks you're being mean, she tells you. "She even called my dad one afternoon to tell him 'mommy's being mean!' (I told her she couldn't have any candy until after lunch)," says Natasha.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is Ella. She is very laid back and goes with flow most of the time. Her mum says Ella likes bugs, cars and dolls - Tinkerbell is her favorite. Ella's favorite thing to do it sit down for story time. She loves books!

"Ella is pretty independent for a 2-year-old," says Natasha. "She defends herself when alisha thinks she's the boss." Ella is sort of an enigma says her mummy. "She's hard to describe, even when it comes time to buy gifts for her, I never know what to tell people to get her because I never know!"

Both girls are very thoughtful and caring. That doesn't always translate to one another but most of the time they will ask the other if they are ok when they get an owie or just hit their toe.

These little girls are just too cute!!!

Finally, guess who is going to be the featured blogger on another blog this weekend?!
You got it - me!

Jessica, the friendly gal behind 'The B Keeps Us Honest,' selected to showcase Tales of an (Almost) Mommy this Saturday. So stay tuned to Tales and The B for details. I'll be posting links to the piece on Saturday when it goes live.

For more information on 'The B Keeps Us Honest,' click here!

My 2010 Wish

2010-01-01T09:27:00.000-06:00

Here's to having a little nugget to call our own in 2010!

Wish us luck!

All the best to you and yours as this new year begins.

Much love,
Patricia and SuperFutureDad

BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Lucy

2009-12-30T00:01:00.008-06:00

I'm bbbbbaaaaaaaaccccccckkkkkkkkk!

After a wonderful week off to celebrate the holidays with my fabulous family, I've returned to the land of snow, snow and more snow! I couldn't believe my eyes when we first pulled into our driveway: there stood a 9-FOOT drift between our house and the neighbor's! Whoah!!! Lucky for me, SuperFutureDad took care of snowblowing duties. I was put in charge of grocery shopping, dishes and laundry. Welcome back to reality, I guess!

Also, welcome back Baby Braggin' Wednesday! If you don't know what BBW is, click here! I've got a gorgeous nugget to share with you, and guess what? It's a girl!

LUCY

Isn't she a doll??!! Lucy is a bubbly and bright-eyed 2-1/2-year-old who is eagerly anticipating her 3rd birthday this May! Boy, they grow up fast, don't they?!

Lucy belongs to a new friend of mine, Kris, who owns Pout Baby Boutique. Pout is a marvelous children's shop in Fargo that carries unique clothing, accessories and eco-friendly items for those special little nuggets in your life. Be sure to check out Pout's Web site and blog, too!

This precious peanut has a taste for life - literally! Her mum says Lucy will eat almost anything, including any kind of meat, fruit and vegetable (except for squash!). Plus, Kris has been known to find Lucy noshing on stickers, paper, even Band-Aid's ("Don't get me started on that one," her mummy says)!

Here's a great picture of Lucy at 3-weeks-old. The girl can rock a headband, can't she?!

Lucy is also known for her one-liner's - made all the more darling by her cute little lisp. Here's a quick sampling:

"You’re my besth fwend momma"
“we’re printhethes (princesses)”

“look at our beautiful home”

“I lub you momma”

“my shocks aren’t gonna hurt momma” (what she said to her mum on their way to Lucy's 2-year check up/shot appointment)

But I've saved the BEST story for last. Lucy is at that age where saying V's is difficult, so they come out more like B's. No big deal, right? Except for one specific word relating to being a girl.

Just before Lucy turned two, Kris realized her daughter didn't quite get the difference between certain parts of her anatomy. So Kris decided it was the right time to teach Lucy the real word - vagina.

Well... since Lucy can't say V's, when she said it, it came out more like - BAGINA! Kris says Lucy found the word fascinating and started saying it over and over. BAGINA, BAGINA, BAGINA!

"Although it seems to make Grandpa Dave a little uncomfortable, [Lucy] shouts it with pride every chance [she] gets and I have to admit, it makes me giggle almost every time," Kris says.

But wait, it gets better!

One morning after Lucy got dressed, she glanced over at her mum and blurted out, "Momma, my bagina is HUNGRY!" Kris burst out laughing, which of course, made Lucy repeat it again and again and again.

What a kid! Lord only knows what she meant, but for us adults, it's a pretty hysterical line. And it will live on forever because Kris is keeping a blog just for Lucy. She writes in it just about everyday and of course, that story is one of her favorites!

Mine too.

BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Camden

2009-12-16T10:41:00.000-06:00

Welcome to this week's edition of Baby Braggin' Wednesday! I am SO excited to share this nugget with you... he's been on the waiting list for a while now. And he is very much worth the wait!

But first, I want to say THANK YOU for making BBW such a smashing success. I think we have featured quite a handful of super cuties and I hope we can continue the trend! One thing I've noticed, though, is that most of our BBW munchkins are boys. And while I love me some baby boys, if you have a girl on your hands, please send her info my way. I'm an equal opportunity blogger! LOL!

If you're not sure what Baby Braggin' Wednesday is - click here.

Just shoot me a quick email (patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com) filled with info about your nugget or a little story, plus some pictures. I'll be sure to put together a BBW profile for your precious one when they get to the top of the list!

This week's munchkin has waited several weeks for his turn and I am thrilled that it is finally here. He belongs to my maid of honor, Becky and her lovely husband. Get ready for:

CAMDEN

Camden was born June 5, 2009 at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Women's Hospital. He weighed 7 lbs, 7 oz. and was 20.5 inches long. He clearly wanted to make his entrance into the world on his own terms because he showed up 12 1/2 days late! Poor Becky!

SuperFutureDad and I had even made plans to visit the little guy, thinking he'd be a couple of weeks old by then and the bringing-home-baby craziness would have calmed down a bit. WRONG! Camden was (I think) two days old and there we were, interrupting the special bonding time that should have been just for his mum and dad and G-Rents. Sorry about that! As always though, Bex was a gracious host and I was so glad to be a part of her life as she made the transition into Mommyhood! And like all my besties, she is a superb mummy!

Bex and Camden have been going to a playgroup since he was 10 days old. All the babies were born in May or June 2009. "We meet every Tues at someone's house, an indoor pool, a park, go for walks, coffee shops, etc.," says Becky.

But big changes are on the horizon. Bex, her hubs and Camden will be moving this spring to Baltimore (any Maryland readers out there who can offer them some advice?). They're on the hunt for a new house and a new playgroup! Becky says it will be really sad to say goodbye to her current playgroup pals!

Of course, at 6-months-old all Camden cares about is discovering sitting up on his own, rolling all over the place ("It's very difficult to keep him confined to a blanket now," Becky says), grabbing everything and putting it in his mouth. Camden spends the rest of his time laughing hysterically at his 4-legged brothers and sister!

Becky and her hubs are trying to do things as naturally as possible with him - breastfeeding (or pumped bottles) exclusively, cloth diapers, babywearing, modified co-sleeping (in his own bed up against the side of ours). They even plan to make homemade organic baby food in a few weeks when they begin trying out solids.

Becky loves being a mother - despite having a hectic life! "Camden's so easy going and far surpasses every expectation I ever had about having kids. He was definitely worth the months and months of sickness!," she says.

And boy was she sick - that's no joke! It stretched long into her pregnancy but she was such a trooper.

Congratulations, Bex, on your munchkin - I can't believe he's 6 months old already!

*One final note - I'll be taking a break from BBW next week because of the holidays. But I have a mega-cutie on the way... so please check back in a couple of weeks! Merry Christmas to you all!

Welcome to the Hood

2009-12-13T14:19:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays everyone!

This is just a quick note to share another article with you. I wrote this piece for The Village Family Magazine. I started researching it around the time when my Baby Jones was hitting insufferably hard and, boy, did I learn a lot!

Did you know that women should take care of any dental work they need before they get pregnant?

Did you know that one round of in vitro fertilization can cost $15,000 (rates may vary depending on location and medical situation)?

Did you know that new parents may grieve the loss of intimacy and/or friendships once their nugget arrives?

If you're already a mum or dad, you may already know these things. But for the rest of you, happy reading! I hope you can take away a few tips.

I would also like to personally acknowledge and thank the people who appear as sources in this article. Without their support and perspective, I would not be able to do what I do.

Susan Grundysen, director of The Village Family Service Center Adoption Option program in Fargo (ND)
Rev. Aaron Roberts, pastor of Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ in Fargo
Lily Crew (not her real name)
Duane Emmel, certified financial counselor at The Village Family Service Center in Fargo
Bonnie Stafford, a Moorhead (MN) mother
Dr. Denise Rondeau, an OB/GYN with Meritcare in Fargo

To read the full article on the World Wide Web Highway, click here.

A Little Bit About Me

2009-12-10T21:32:00.002-06:00

The countdown is on! Only 15 (or 14... or 13... depending on what day you're reading this) more days until Christmas. This year, my holiday will be extra special because I get to spend it with my family! It's a rare and wonderful treat - there is no doubt I will be taking full advantage of it!

As our household continues to be the Land of No Nuggets (what a Christmas bummer), I've decided to share a bit about what else I do and who else I am in my everyday life. A lot of you already know that I am a television news reporter, but I also do a fair share of freelance writing on the side. I love my job and like to think I'm pretty good at it.

Currently, I write for several publications in the Fargo(ND)-Moorhead(MN) area. They run the gamut from architecture and home design to parenting. I even get to write profiles on amazing Midwest mommies who could give Wonder Woman a run for her wrist guards! My editors are wonderful people who are even allowing me to share my articles on this blog - a big THANK YOU to them!

First up: my debut profile for On The Minds of Moms Magazine.

Just follow this link and it'll take you right to the article!

Christmas Comes Early Surprise! BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Griffin

2009-12-08T16:54:00.000-06:00

What a crazy couple of weeks it has been! Apologies to all the Tales readers out there who have been waiting to meet last week's Baby Braggin' Wednesday nugget. And a huge I'M SORRY to his mummy, too!

My schedule has gotten out of whack lately... is it the holidays? Work commitments? Volunteer efforts? Travel arrangements? Baby shower planning? Christmas shopping? This whole baby-making thing? Well, I can tell you one thing - whatever it is, it is keeping me busy. TOO BUSY! Good thing I've got a vacation coming up! Whew!!

Anyway, I'm really sorry that I missed a BBW post - especially because I've got such a great little nugget to share with you. He is the adorable son of one of my besties from high school, Olivia. So without further ado, hhhheeeerrrreee'sss:

GRIFFIN

Griffin is a 16-month-old (going on 6!) cutie-patootie born July 31, 2008. He lives in Portola Valley, CA so that means he gets to play in the sand with the Golden Gate Bridge as his backdrop. What a lucky kiddo! Isn't that the most gorgeous pic you've seen in a while??!!

His mum and dad have lots of nicknames for their little guy: Griff, G-Dawg, G-Diggity, G-Man, G, Griffy. Olivia says Griffin LOVES to eat - I think the tasty turkey and juicy watermelon in his mouth is proof positive! When he's not chilling at the dinner table, Griffin loves to swim and take a bath. So much so that his mum finds him in the tub if she doesn't close the door to the bathroom - even when there is no water it it!

Griffin's new favorite thing is working on his walking and running. And he's got a thing for older kids, especially older boys. He isn't afraid to walk right up to them and try to play with them. He loves his music class and listening to tunes on his Lightning McQueen cd player!

One of the coolest things about Griffin is that he's becoming bi-lingual (at such a young age - that's fabulous)! His nanny is from Peru and speaks pretty much only in Spanish to him, so he has learned to give "besitos", not "kisses" - Olivia thinks that is really sweet (mí también)! Olivia says, "Sometimes I think he understands more Spanish than English - which has helped my Spanish, too!"

And here is the cutest picture yet of Griffy and his mummy:

If I didn't have the 'Baby Jones' before seeing this, I sure do now!! Thanks for sharing your little guy with Tales of an (Almost) Mommy, Olivia. You've certainly got a precious one on your hands!

For all of you other Tales readers out there, don't forget to send me your nuggets so they, too, can be featured on Baby Braggin' Wednesday. Simply send a few pics, a cute story or some general info about your kiddos to patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com and I'll take care of the rest! It's a great way to share your munchkin with the world - I mean, who doesn't want a little brag time for their babe? Besides, this way I do the braggin' for you!

You've Got a Friend

2009-11-29T15:19:00.000-06:00

I am coming off a hella work week. Thanksgiving went by in a blur of stories about a turkey fryer fire and early Black Friday sales. No family gathering for me (hope everyone had fun in Florida)! Yesterday I pulled a 13-hour shift (so worth it though - check out my story tonight or find it on the web tomorrow) so I'm giving myself a little break. I'm snuggling with a furry member of the Jungle Larry entourage and chillaxing in my pj's.

You probably know by now that Tales is not normally a blog for commercial purposes. But I'm making an exception today to help out and promote a good friend's business. Abbie and I graduated high school together when ER topped the television charts. In the years since, Abbie has become a loving wife and mother to two adorable little nuggets (hopefully they'll be featured in the future on BBW!). Abbie is also the genius behind Thing-A-Ma-Sling, but why don't I let her tell you about it!

"In early 2004, shortly after the birth of my first child, I began making baby slings because I couldn’t find any comfortable, stylish slings for a reasonable price. Once I started wearing the slings with my daughter, and then later on with my son, I was constantly stopped in public by interested parents who were just as frustrated as I had been.

Unintentionally, THING-A-MA-SLING, LLC was suddenly born! The quality of the materials we use and the amount of attention we pay to every detail of your sling make our products unsurpassed. Your infant will be safely secured in the comfort of our slings and we are confident your baby will love the product as much as we do.

At THING-A-MA-SLING, we care about our community and our environment. We regularly give back to our community through donations to organizations that support our military and those that promote rights in birthing, breastfeeding and holistic parenting. One of our favorite organizations is Birth Without Boundaries, Int’l. As an advocate for women and children’s rights, it is so important to me that we make informed choices for ourselves and our children.

We are honored that you chose THING-A-MA-SLING! Your purchase makes it possible for us to help parents make informed choices when it comes to their pregnancy, birth and the care of their children."

There you have it! I'm really glad I have the chance to help out my pal. My friends are my family.

Have a wonderful Sunday ya'll!

BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Jack and Owen

2009-11-24T23:04:00.004-06:00

Drum roll, please..... it's time for another edition of Baby Braggin' Wednesday! So glad you could join me because this week, we have some major cutie-pies - twins!

JACK AND OWEN

Jack and Owen are 2 1/2 year old twin boys who belong to one of my besties here in Fargo, Heather. They are adorable little nuggets, each with a personality all his own. And boy do they give their mum and dad a handful! Check out this full-moon-fever story Heather sent me. She writes:

"What I remember is the horror of that night. We were getting Jack and Owen ready for a bath. We lived in a condo on the northside of Fargo and I think the boys were about a year and a half. On bath nights Nick would run upstairs and start the water and I would get the tots ready for their bath.

Most moms agree babies need a chance to "air out"...which means, take off all clothes, including diapers and let kids run around "free" for a minute or two. Looking back, bad idea. We took off the first baby's diaper and let him run free while Nick ran the tub...yet another bad idea.

As i'm wrangling the 2nd baby, baby #1 poops on the carpet!! I scream in horror, Nick runs back downstairs to check out what's going on...and as I'm cleaning up poop from baby #1, I hear a whizzing noise...baby #2 is peeing on the carpet, then squatting to poop. This had never, I repeat never, happened before....and although they've peed on the carpet several times since (including last night), no one has ever pooped on the carpet again...and my carpet probably never looked the same!"

Heather, her hubs and fam eventually moved out of that condo and I'm guessing the new tenants are none the wiser! I love it when Jack and Owen stop by the newsroom and I hope you enjoyed reading about these precious nuggets. How cute are their pictures?! Angels!

Don't forget - you too, can submit pics and stories for Baby Braggin' Wednesday! Just send your submissions to patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com. I'm doing it on a first-come, first-serve basis so please be patient if you haven't seen your nuggets' posting yet. I'll get to everyone, I promise!!!

Next week, we're heading west to meet a California baby!

One final thought, I want to wish all my Tales readers out there a wonderful Thanksgiving. I appreciate your friendship so much. I hope one day I can say that to you in person, instead of over the World Wide Web Highway. To Nai Nai, Ricky and my family who is gathered in the Sunshine State, I love you all and wish I could be there. Much love to eveyone and please make time for a nap after eating all of the delicious turkey Ricky is cooking!

The Golden Rule

2009-11-23T00:04:00.000-06:00

Not too long ago, someone came into my life and taught me a lot about responsibility. This person, whom I'll call Elphaba, was the most self-centered and self-absorbed person I've ever met. Elphaba made Tyra Banks look like Oprah.

Elphaba's tornado of self-love affected everyone around her. Elphaba had no regard for how her actions impacted others. And when someone would have the audacity to point this out to Elphaba, she blatantly ignored their feelings or took any accountability for her actions. She lacked empathy. To put it bluntly, the girl didn't give a shit about anyone but herself.

It's like the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Clearly, Elphaba missed the boat on that one.

Perhaps you're thinking the same of me now. 'Why would she write something so horrible about another person? What good will come of speaking badly about this person?'

My goal in sharing this with you is not to focus on how a person's values can be so twisted. Rather, I'd like to figure out how to prevent someone from becoming this way. In short, how do you teach kids responsibility and personable accountability?

I'm guessing munchkins are not born possessing these two virtues; they are taught and learned. Some parents lead by example. Other mums and dads use discipline and teaching moments. Some kids learn these qualities by participating in sports. And other kids (more like teens) catch the drift when they get their first job.

But how can some children slip through the cracks and become irresponsible and self-absorbed adults like Elphaba and Speidi? And what sorts of things do I need to learn about parenting to ensure my future nuggets aren't like them?

So... to you... my dear readers, I'm asking this: please send me examples of what you do to teach your nuggets responsibility and accountability. Share your tips and tricks in the comment section - perhaps we can all learn a little something from each other. I look forward to reading all about it!

And, once again, thanks so much for stopping by Tales of an (Almost) Mommy! I'm so happy you're here!

BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY: Casey, Brady and Madelyn

2009-11-18T10:15:00.003-06:00

Welcome to the first edition of Baby Braggin' Wednesday! So glad you could join me!

In case you're new to Tales, BBW is a weekly feature where I post pictures and cute little stories about all the little nuggets in my life and/or who belong to Tales readers like you. To be a part of BBW, all you have to do is email me some pics of your munchkin(s) and tell me a little about them. I'll craft up a blog entry from there that you can share with all your family and friends! It's my way of showing off all the cute little nuggets out there - and giving shout outs to all the fabulous peeps in my life! I love you all so much!

So... without further ado... here's our first BBW entry:

CASEY, BRADY AND MADELYN

I am the proud auntie to these remarkable (and athletic!) three kids. I don't get to see them very often, maybe once a year, and I miss them terribly. I've had to watch them grow up through pictures so that's why I thought they should be BBW's debut post. Casey, Brady and Madelyn are incredibly smart and cute - I can't wait to see them at Christmas!!!

Casey is the oldest. I am his Godmother. My favorite memory of Casey is teaching him to swim in Nai Nai and Ricky's pool in the Sunshine State. We spent hours in the pool working on floating and kicking and dunking and jumping (of course, he had a great start at swimming lessons with his mum and dad). But he's also a darn good soccer player!

Brady is one of the sweetest kids you'll ever meet. And one of the pickiest eaters! If this still holds true, last I knew, his favorite meal was chicken nuggets with sauce (ketchup). He loves fruit too. Brady has a wonderful imagination and will talk my ear off on the phone. It's so nice to hear his voice. Brady is sure to be a heartbreaker when he grows up - he's so cute!

Oh, Miss Madelyn - the youngest, and a girl, to boot!! Maddy is the perfect combination of her mum and dad's good looks - why this cutie isn't a child model is beyond me. That may have something to do with the fact that nobody tells Maddy what to do - she is in charge! And has the voice to prove it! But she is a ham in front of the camera and knows how to give a great hug. I don't know Maddy as well as Brady and Casey so I'm hoping she and I will have a chance to bond over the holidays.

So there you have it - Casey, Brady, and Madelyn are the first kids to be featured on Tales of an (Almost) Mommy's Baby Braggin' Wednesday column. I hope you enjoyed reading all about my fantastic nephews and niece! SuperFutureDad and I are the proudest uncle and auntie a kid could have!

If you have some pics and stories you'd like to submit for BBW, please email me at patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com. I can't wait to share them with all the Tales readers!

BABY BRAGGIN' WEDNESDAY!

2009-11-11T12:37:00.000-06:00

For those of you who are familiar with Tales, you know that SuperFutureDad and I are still in The Land of No Nuggets. And it seems the older I get, the lonelier a place it is.

But whatever my situation is, it does not affect my crazy excitement whenever I find out one of my family members, friends, blog followers, or casual readers is preggers. I'm overjoyed (and yes, envious) each time one of them calls, texts, or writes with the news that they're entering Mommyhood.

It is for this reason that I'm announcing a new weekly column called Baby Braggin' Wednesday!

BBW, for short, is so you can show off your nugget with pictures, stories and fun, little facts. Each week, I'll select a little peanut to feature and write up a blog entry about him/her/them. I just need you to supply the pics and info!

Here's how it works:

Send me an email @ patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com with your nuggets' name, age, birth date and where you live

Attach up to 3 pictures of your baby (toddlers and big kids accepted, too - I love 'em all!)

Include some baby braggin' info - this can be anything from birth stats or their first word to a funny thing they do or the moment you knew they were wicked smart

Once you've been picked, I'll notify you by email and get cracking putting together your kids' Baby Braggin' Wednesday profile!

I'll admit my motives are a bit selfish in doing this but I really just want the chance to show off all the peanuts who belong to my friends and family. I am so proud of all of you and happy that you get to be mommies and daddies!

Besides, who doesn't get a smile on their face when looking at the chubby cheeks of a brand new baby? I know I do!

The Rebel In Me

2009-11-09T23:21:00.005-06:00

A few weeks ago, I did something I shouldn't have. Since that day, I've been spiraling downward into the bizarre baby-making world.

One morning, I started searching the World Wide Web Highway for other people like me: Baby-Jonesing gals who think it's (maybe?) time to start a family. What I found scared the crap out of me.

Cyberspace is FILLED with any-something women trying to have kids. And it seems none of them, like me, are having any luck.

Discovering that hundreds, if not thousands, of women are in the same baby-limbo as I am should bring me comfort. 'Now I have people to talk with who won't think I'm: A) off my rocker, B) annoying as a wax job starting to grow back, C) a whiny attention whore,' I remember thinking excitedly that fateful morning.

But frankly, finding all my new 'friends' on the Internet(s) sucks; it’s more depressing than I'd like to admit. There are just so darn many of them. It makes me feel hopeless.

Worse than that, not only are all of these women NOT pregnant, they're freaks!

They speak in alien tongue. Think I'm joking? See if you can decipher this sentence:

“i hope i get my BFP tomorrow but it is still early. i am 9 DPO today so tomorrow will be 10 DPO but i should get my AF by saturday or sunday so i am hoping it doesnt come!!! i hope all you ladies have GL with the BFP's this month.”

WTF???

Where’s the good old-fashioned, full-word girl talk? The Babymoon talk? The FutureNugget Name talk? To me… everything in that sentence is so… clinical. I can’t relate. Even though there is joy in it (she’s talking about hoping to get a positive pregnancy test reading before her period is due because she ovulated several days ago. Yeah, I’ll admit it, I’ve figured out the lingo.) the acronyms sound like a bad episode of Military Medical Mysteries. There’s a reason that show never got picked up.

My intention is not to anger, insult, or aggravate any of the women who frequent these sites or parlez in this foreign language. In fact, I think it’s quite brave that they are so open about their journey into Mommyhood. And, I find it comforting to know that women who’ve only ‘met’ virtually turn to each other for support.

My beef is that I don’t want to become one of them. Perhaps this is the rebel in me, but I don’t want to be consumed by trying to create a nugget. I don’t want to have to count my DPO (days past ovulation). Or take my BBT (basal body temperature). Or measure for EWCM (egg white cervical mucus indicating your most fertile time).

Honestly, I don’t want to work at it. I just want it to happen. I just want to enjoy this time in my life where me and SuperFutureDad dream about our nugget. Where we wish for what could be.

Perhaps this is faulty logic and I’ll never get that little baby I’ve been hoping for.

But if that happens, I can always turn to the nearest TTC group, right? And I can tell all the ladies there about the next time I POAS.

One Amazing Mother

2009-11-08T15:39:00.001-06:00

Greetings ya'll!!!

How are the Baby Jones and/or The Mommyhood treating ya??

I'm still hanging in there. This trying-to-become a parent thing is A LOT harder than I expected. Look for an upcoming post on this topic. I'm sure there's some of you out there who may agree with me!

Meantime, I want to share something with you. As you might know, my alter ego is a full-time television news reporter. I absolutely love my job! And just over a year ago, I decided to try to expand my reporting portfolio by breaking into freelance writing for magazines. Much to my delight (and a lot of hard work), I've had tremendous success!

At this point, I would like to personally thank the local publications who have hired me:

Lake and Home Magazine

On The Minds of Moms Magazine

The Village Family Magazine

As a special treat for all my dear readers on this blog, the wonderful folks at On The Minds of Moms Magazine (OTMOM for short), are encouraging me to post my latest cover story for them on Tales. Get ready to be inspired by this amazing mother!

And, if you're interested in learning more about her... click here!

Finally, I have special Facebook and Twitter accounts set up to share and promote my freelance career. Please pass the word!

Friend me on FB @ Patricia Carlson and follow me on Twitter @ pattycfreelance. I look forward to networking with you!

The Best Of....

2009-10-30T11:14:00.001-05:00

A big BONJOUR to my most favorite blog readers in the universe!

I want to take a moment to give all of you a huge THANK YOU for reading my ramblings and musings about my 'Baby Jones' affliction. Writing is the way I stay sane (or try to, according to SuperFutureDad) and I appreciate all of the fantastic feedback I get from all of you. No matter where you are in your life - a swingin' single, a fabulous fiance(e), a smug married, a mommy or a daddy to a little nugget yourself - you take time out of your day to read my words. For that, and much more, I am grateful.

You may have noticed a few new things to look at on Tales of an Almost Mommy. That's because I'm trying to spread the word about my blog and get a few more rad readers like yourselves! So, if you feel like it, please let people know where they can find a funny perspective on everything from cankles, pull ups, MILF's, breasfeeding, pregnancy weight and the omni-present 'Baby Jones.' Plus, I want to share with you the neat pregnancy and parenting Web sites and blog collections I've found since I started writing Tales - just look for the links and badges I've posted on the side of the blog.

Here's a quick list of places on the world wide web highway you may find interesting:

http://www.topbabyblogs.com/topblogs/pages/index.html
-A list of reader-voted blogs on every parenting topic, from both mum and dad perspectives (ps - If you'd like to vote for Tales, just click on the badge on the upper left corner of my blog)

http://www.mamapedia.com/voices
-An all-in-one info center where you can ask advice from other mums, connect with sympathetic ears, and discover information from hundreds of categories

http://www.mombloggersclub.com/
-The largest social network for mum bloggers with more than 6000 members

http://pregnantbloggers.ning.com/
-An off-shoot of mombloggersclub, this one is filled with blogs from women in all stages of pregnancy

http://babymakingmachine.blogspot.com/2008/11/big-huge-hello-and-welcome-my-friend.html
-Just like Tales, but with a fancier design and giveaways. I highly recommend checking out this blog!

http://www.littlemissheirlooms.blogspot.com/
-A one-stop place for ideas on how to incorporate vintage items for your baby and his/her nursery

http://www.kenziepoo.blogspot.com/
-A top blog as voted by In Style Magazine. Features hot trends in decorating, clothing, etc. Very cool!

http://www.onthemindsofmoms.com/blog
-The blog for a local Fargo-Moorhead magazine I write for. Has information on upcoming issues and hot topics in parenting.

http://thedaddydispatch.com/
-A freelance writer friend who is a first-time dad and a stay-at-home pop, no less. He is a very good writer. Gives you an inside look at parenting from a dad's perspective.

http://www.babycenter.com/
-For all of your baby-making questions. A reliable source of information.

Hope you find some of these entertaining and useful. And, be sure to send me your favorite Web spots so I can check them out, too!

Happy Halloween to you all!

Winning Numbers

2009-10-21T13:40:00.000-05:00

Holy crap. Have you heard how much it costs to raise a kid these days?

The United States Department of Agriculture’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion released a report this year showing a middle-income family with a child born in 2008 will spend about $221,000 raising that kid through age 17. Housing is the top expense, followed by food and child care costs.

That’s just the cost for ONE kid.

NOT including college.

Oh yeah, and that figure RISES to roughly $292,000 when adjusted for inflation.

Those of you already in the throes of parenting, are probably all too familiar with this (in my eyes) alarming figure. But for folks like me who are just starting to contemplate having a nugget, a quarter of a million bucks might just be enough to say screw it, let’s play Powerball instead. It’s depressing, no?

SuperFutureDad and I fall into the abysmal category of middle-income America – barely. We certainly don’t make enough to enjoy a life where we don’t have to live paycheck to paycheck. It’s an ugly gray zone where nights out at the movies are nixed, gym memberships are dropped, and having an emergency cash fund is laughable. This is not to say that our life is perk-free. We are thankful we both have jobs, cars that run, tv and internet, and food on the table every night. Heck, with the help of a credit card, we can even buy plane tickets to go see my family for Christmas. But our overall financial situation is not about to change anytime soon.

Here’s why: In terms of earning potential, I picked the wrong profession. Although I love my job (and believe me, I DO!), I will never make money doing it. To be fair, unless you are in the ranks of Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer or one of those loud-mouthed cable network news nutjobs, people like me never will. And to be clear, I am not pointing fingers at my employer. As I see it, this is an industry-wide issue and no single business is to blame for low pay.

But frankly, I’m bitter – and worried – about what my career choice means for my future family. I feel I’ve worked hard (and continue to do so) to be able to earn a certain amount of money. I busted my butt in college; earned a Master’s degree in graduate school. For most people, these achievements translate into a bigger paycheck. Not me. And for that, my family will suffer and I, already, feel guilty.

My dream, along with millions of other Americans, has always been to give my children a better life than my parents gave me. However, with what it costs to raise a kid and my financial prospects, the likelihood of this happening ranks right up there with me buying a winning ticket.

“Hey honey, what are our Powerball numbers, again?”

The Name Game

2009-10-16T10:07:00.000-05:00

Even though my husband and I are still working on this whole pregnancy thing, my mind has already started to wander toward names. What on earth are we going to name this (these) little nugget(s) that we bring into the world? My favorite name, let's call it 'T' (the name shall remain, well... nameless to protect the identity of who used it. It can be a sensitive subject, no?), has already been taken. Yeah, yeah, we're not supposed to stake claims on names, people are allowed to choose whatever name they like, blah, blah, blah. But to me, it's like that episode of Sex And The City when Charlotte and the girls are going to the baby shower of an old friend. When someone asks the woman what name she has picked out, she says, "Shayla." Of course, that name turns out to be Charlotte's years-ago made up unique baby name and Charlotte accuses her of stealing the name. The SATC girls storm out and Charlotte is forever miffed that someone nabbed her chosen future-baby-name.

I get anxious just thinking about names for my future children. I want something original but not trendy. Confident but not stuffy. Old fashioned but not... old. SuperFutureDad wants something that won't get our kid laughed off the playground. And of course, I'm already annoying him with talk of someone who doesn't even exist yet!!! What if we have a boy? What if we have a girl? What if we have twins? What are your family names? Would someone be offended if we didn't carry their name? Would someone be offended if we did? How do you feel about unisex names? Do you think kids today know who Clifford the Big Red Dog is (family joke)? What's your great-grandmother's middle name again? ARGH!

The worst part of all of this is that at any time, if we choose to keep our FutureNuggetName under wraps, someone can swoop in and steal it! Just like what happened with 'T'. There is no way SuperFutureDad's associate could have known this is my favorite name and even if he/she had, how ridiculous would I have to be to claim it as my own? Only a total nutter would do something like that, right?

So... in no particular order I am calling dibs on these names: Penelope, CoraLynn Ann, Berkeley, Drew, Joshua, Victoria, Vivian, Douglas, Patrick or Padraig, Johan, William, Wendy, and Frank(ie).

I never said I wasn't a nutter, did I?

Mother Is the Word for God

2009-09-09T20:40:00.000-05:00

My senior yearbook quote went something like this: "Mother is the word for God on the hearts and lips of all little children." At the time, I thought it was just a cool line from the movie 'The Crow.' Then, in doing research for this post, I found out the phrase is actually a famous quote by William Makepeace Thackeray (famous English novelist from the 19th century - thanks Wikipedia!). And the closer I get to having a little nugget, the more I realize how much I believe in those fifteen words.

My mother's advice when it comes to raising children is gospel. There is no one whom I trust more. I know I am lucky. Some people have been forced to say goodbye to their moms way too early. This makes me unbelievably sad and ridiculously attached to my mother.

We don't live close. She is in the Sunshine State, I live where the sun don't shine (at least it didn't this summer). This distance makes our relationship tricky. We are very good on the phone; speaking a few times a week about grandmother (and her cat), the weather (it's great there, sucks here), my brother and his family (a trio of kids under age 6 - yikes!), anti-aging miracles (flax seed, fish oil, Greek yogurt) and whatever sporting adventure she's up to lately (also an anti-aging miracle).

In person though, we need a warm-up period. I'm still trying to figure out why that is. Perhaps it's distance. Maybe it's that we are both adults with our own opinions, methodologies and beliefs. Or it could just be that our mother-daughter dynamic has altered with age.

But there is one area where we always mesh - raising children. The reason is simple. She is the best mother I've ever seen (and, obviously, known). And that is why her advice trumps all others.

So here, in no particular order, is the best mothering advice I've gotten (so far) from my mum:

*Babies always need to wear socks (unless it's wicked hot out)
*Kids need structure and a set routine
*Naps are a must - everyday
*If you don't like a food, your kid won't either (even if the nugget has never tried it)
*Breastfeed (if possible)
*Sleep when your baby sleeps (screw the housework)
*Babies need to go to bed early and that means they will wake up early - Deal with it
*No overnight pull-ups
*Use a pack-and-play
*Babies and toddlers must have the fat of whole milk
*Have a sit-down family dinner as often as possible when the kids are old enough
*Cut the end off the pacifier when you don't want them to use one anymore
*Have a cartoon character "steal" their blanket when it's time to grow out of it
*Take trips just for mom and dad - Leave the kids with the g-rent's
*When breastfeeding at night, sit in a rocking chair with the lights off - Just be there in the quiet together

I'm not deluded enough (yet?) to think that I'll be able to follow all of these things to the letter. But if my mum says that's the way to go, then I trust her.

Now, if only I could believe her when she tells me that labor does not hurt.....

The Weight of Mommyhood

2009-09-01T23:35:00.000-05:00

I am not a thin girl. By doctors’ standards, I’m not obese either. I’m what people refer to as an athletic-looking girl. That’s a nice way of saying I’m chunky. Boys in this category are called husky. Whatever you call it, the truth is I’ve got meat on my bones.

Weight has always been an issue for me. When I was younger my brother would torment me by asking if I’d painted my jeans on (nowadays that may be a compliment to those women who can wear ‘skinny jeans,’ another style that is off-limits to my squishy body). As I got older, and trained harder for sports, my body leveled off. Through high school and college, I weighed between 145 and 150 pounds. Not bad for a 5’8” frame. Again, I’ve never been a thin girl but during those years much of my weight came from muscle.

Then a funny thing happened when I moved to the Midwest. I discovered foods like tater tot hot dish (a casserole to my non-plains readers out there), slow-cooked roasts and broasted chicken, and I re-discovered comfort food favorites I had long ago given up like potatoes and lasagna.

I also fell in love with SuperFutureDad (he’s the cook responsible for all those yummy dishes). And the time I had been devoting to the gym and staying in shape, quickly gave way to cozy nesting nights with him on the couch, each of us with our own bucket of popcorn. Needless to say, I began gobbling down the memory of what I used to look like with fistfuls of buttery kernels.

And then I got a vicious wake-up call. Earlier this summer, I went to the doctor to talk about having a baby. I stepped on the scale, fearing the worst, and nearly dropped an F-bomb when I read the number: 178 pounds. Ok, that was SO MUCH worse than I expected. I finally accepted what I knew to be true; I was no longer ‘athletic.’

Immediately my head filled with dreadful images of what pregnant me would look – and feel - like. Shapeless muumuu’s on TV. Four chins. Gestational diabetes. More rolls than the local bakery. Shortness of breath. Cankles. Hypertenstion. The list was endless. I weighed so much, my doctor told me I should only gain 15-25 pounds during gestation. I knew for a fact that most of my skinny friends gained about 30. What a blow. I felt like Shamu. Only Shamu, being a whale and all, is actually allowed to gain upwards of 400 pounds during a pregnancy (technically, Shamu is a boy, but you get the idea).

As I left the doctors office, I vowed to shape up before getting pregnant. Sounds slightly counterproductive, eh? But for me, being the ‘athletic girl’ has always been my thing. It’s what helps keeps me shopping at the same stores that advertise in my favorite magazines, and most importantly, it’s what has kept me healthy. Healthy enough to have a safe pregnancy. Healthy enough to be an active mother. Healthy enough to be around for a long time for my kids. I’ll never be a MILF, but I do want to be a good example of how a healthy, athletic mother should live her life; if for no one else than for me and my family.

So, I’ve got yoga and dance classes on my roster for fall. Anyone want to join me?

Sharing Simple Pleasures

2009-08-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve already begun thinking what life would be like with a little nugget to call my own. I try not to let the thoughts go too far… I don’t want to jinx it.

But there are some things about my childhood that I can’t wait to share with my kids. And, there’s a few ‘firsts’ that I anxiously await. Here we go…

In the… our-baby-is-so-precious category:
Lying on the ground in the park reading with them nestled in the stroller that I gently rock with my toes
Holding them in my arms for the first time
Coming home to find the baby perched on SuperFutureDad’s chest, both of them fast asleep
Bonding while breastfeeding at night
Listening to them breathe hard while deep in slumber

Representing the… aren’t-they-so-cute category:
Reading books together snuggled side-by-side in a cozy bed
Nesting by the fire
Watching them eat sand as we make sandcastles on the Florida beach
Seeing them run into Nai Nai and Ricky’s arms
Helping them swing a tennis racket for the first time

Nominees for the… not-that-they’ll-give-a-crap category:
Introducing them to the Mickey Mouse Club, Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume
Playing old episodes of Friends, 90210, Psyche, Gilmore Girls, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory
Showing them tapes of my tv stuff and magazines featuring my articles

In the… it‘ll-be-nice-to-have-someone-to-play-with category:
Catching them in my arms as they jump off the edge of the pool
Sharing the joy of a warm, creamy cup of hot chocolate in the middle of winter
Sledding
Chasing each other with squirt guns

Entries for the… just-like-mum-and-dad-used-to-do-with-me category:
Dancing to Motown oldies while doing the dishes
Sunday morning family breakfast (I’ll whip up blueberry pancakes, SuperFutureDad will take care of the bacon)
Continuing the annual tradition of cutting down our Christmas tree
Having nightly dinners together

I also commissioned SuperFutureDad to come up with a few items.

Nominees for the… I-just-want-to-be-a-dad-already-darnit category:
Teaching them sports and outdoor activities
Having the baby fall asleep in my arms
Watching them take their first step
Seeing them interact with the dog
Laughing when the baby poops or pees on mummy
Watching them learn new things for themselves
Spending time as a family

I know that this list make parenting sound easy and delightful. And I realize (through watching other mums and dads) that it’s not like that all of the time. But I’m hopeful that these simple pleasures will outweigh any daily trials we endure.

What were/are some of your parenting pleasures?

So I Think I Want to be a Mommy?

2009-08-20T21:28:00.000-05:00

Do you find yourself:

Making googly faces at any baby within your 50-foot proximity?

Rationalizing that your recent weight gain is undoubtedly because you’re pregnant (even though that little pill case in your purse says otherwise)?

Thinking every baby is ridiculously cute although deep down you KNOW that he/she won’t be winning any baby beauty contests?

Convincing yourself that dumpy diapers don’t sound that putrid after all?

If so, you may be suffering from the ‘Baby Jones’.

The ‘Baby Jones’ is the uncontrollable urge to want to have a baby. In my (limited) experience, the ‘jones’ creeps in slowly. In your younger years, it was easy to keep at bay. You had sports to play. Places to visit. New people to meet. Adventures to have. Education to finish. For some, a partner to meet. But then, when most of those things have been checked off your bucket list, you feel it again. That nagging sensation that there is something (more?) you want in your life.

When fully manifested, the ‘jones’ may make you feel as though you’ve been brainwashed. Baby vomit is now thought of as spit-up (has a much less negative tone, no?). The sound of a baby crying activates your Mommy Sonar and you can find the needy child through rain, snow, sleet or hail. You nod empathetically when your mommy friends tell you about cracked nipples/sleepless nights/teething tears/leaky breasts/green poop/and… gulp… hemorrhoids. You even look longingly at mothers whose children are throwing violent, full-body temper tantrums in the grocery store checkout, wishing you could be the one to cradle them in your arms afterward.

And when you find yourself making goober faces at someone else’s kids in the local Target… it hits you. You want a baby. You have a full-blown, irrepressible case of the ‘Baby Jones.’ And the only thing that will treat it is 9 months of the happiest and scariest time in your life.

So what do you do?

I. Have. No. Idea.

It's Just Me and SuperFutureDad... For Now

2009-08-16T13:42:00.018-05:00

I am having the “baby jones’.” Much like an addict, it’s this uncontrollable urge to want to have a baby. In college, the ‘baby jones’ crept in like clockwork twice a year. It was easy to push aside. “I'm too young/selfish/adventurous/immature/single”', I'd tell myself.

Now, I’m jonesing for a baby fix constantly; it shows no signs of slowing. Many of my previous issues are resolved. I have no more valid excuses. It’s time.

At least, I think it is. I am 30-years-old and newly married. My husband (whom we’ll call SuperFutureDad) is definitely the man I’m meant to have children with. Shit, we’re halfway there with a brood of animals. Our house is known as ‘Jungle Larry’s’ (and will affectionately be referred to as such in this blog).

I knew I wanted to create little nuggets with SuperFutureDad after about 6 months of dating. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to marry him. But do age, a ring, and the persistent ‘joneses’ mean I’m really ready to become a parent? Do we? Or don’t we? And if we do, when? And if we pick when, then what??!! It’s enough to drive a gal mad!

This blog will chronicle my search to find out the answers to those questions. And you’ll be along for the hilarious, cheeky, outrageous, endearing, genuine, emotional, uncertain, and most of all, real, ride.

Tales of an (Almost) Mommy is written as much for me as (I hope) it is for you. I’m sure there are plenty of other women (and men) out there who are going through what the hubs and I are living everyday. And, if you’ve already been through it, I’ll bet Jungle Larry’s you’ll get some (perverse?) pleasure out of watching us navigate the Sea of Conception.

I hope you’re interested and inspired enough to interact. Comment. Share. Email (patriciacarlsonfreelance@gmail.com). Facebook (Patricia Carlson). Twitter (@pattycfreelance).

I can’t wait to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by.